Fertility Thinker Gifts

'Congratulations! It's a saviour sibling.'

"I guess for me family planning is just a study in fertility."

"I wish they'd never discovered fertility drugs!"

Radiology, Cardiology and Fertility Clinic.

"Have you considered trying for a puppy?"

"You need to stop pressing the snooze button on your biological clock."

"Leapfrog is the latest craze among the kids, but experts say it contribute to declining birthrates. Find out why � after the break!"

Man leaves sperm bank. Woman says: 'Thanks, do come again.'

IVF assessment centre.

"It's perfect for starting a family."

Three Parent Baby

'My wife and I can't have dogs!'

Fertility clinic open day - Man holding balloons shaped like sperm.

Pregnancy Test

"So, how long have you been trying?"

'I warned you that the fertility drugs might have side effects.'

"We can make you more pregnant than you ever though possible."

Fertility Clinic - "Who wants to be mother?"

'And once we transfer the embryo, aspirate the follicles, and align your ovulation with the doctor's gold schedule, voila -- natures little miracle.'

Fertility Center.

'And for Pete's sake, let's cut out out all this artificial insemination.'

"If you're so worried about the effect of your mobile phone on your sperm count maybe you should just use it less!"

"Just for variety, Doc, next time let's insert the embryos doggy style."

"In brief, we'll stimulate your ovaries with daily medications or hormones, perform an oocyte retrieval at the hospital, incubate the eggs in a petri dish at the laboratory, and then sit back and let nature take its course"

"First, the good news; you're not sterile."

'We can now offer you a free range egg option.'

"Whoever she is...she's one hell of an egg donor."

'I'm sorry Mrs Jones, but according to these results your womb is extremely inhospitable, and your husband's sperm is gay.'

'Why does it take 1 million sperm to fertilize 1 egg?'

Sperm Bank: Penetrations...Withdrawals.

Science and mothers day

You're expecting twins. What! I wanted a least triplets!

"I never realized trying to have a baby would mean replacing the soft music and candlelight with an ovulation strip, a thermometer, and a starter pistol."