Fertility Thinker Gifts

'Congratulations! It's a saviour sibling.'

"I guess for me family planning is just a study in fertility."

"I wish they'd never discovered fertility drugs!"

Radiology, Cardiology and Fertility Clinic.

"You need to stop pressing the snooze button on your biological clock."

"Leapfrog is the latest craze among the kids, but experts say it contribute to declining birthrates. Find out why � after the break!"

"Have you considered trying for a puppy?"

Man leaves sperm bank. Woman says: 'Thanks, do come again.'

IVF assessment centre.

"It's perfect for starting a family."

Pregnancy Test

Fertility clinic open day - Man holding balloons shaped like sperm.

"So, how long have you been trying?"

'My wife and I can't have dogs!'

Three Parent Baby

"We can make you more pregnant than you ever though possible."

"If you're so worried about the effect of your mobile phone on your sperm count maybe you should just use it less!"

'And for Pete's sake, let's cut out out all this artificial insemination.'

Fertility Center.

Fertility Clinic - "Who wants to be mother?"

'And once we transfer the embryo, aspirate the follicles, and align your ovulation with the doctor's gold schedule, voila -- natures little miracle.'

'I warned you that the fertility drugs might have side effects.'

"Just for variety, Doc, next time let's insert the embryos doggy style."

'Last one in is a rotten egg.'

"In brief, we'll stimulate your ovaries with daily medications or hormones, perform an oocyte retrieval at the hospital, incubate the eggs in a petri dish at the laboratory, and then sit back and let nature take its course"

Science and mothers day

You're expecting twins. What! I wanted a least triplets!

Sperm Bank: Penetrations...Withdrawals.

'Why does it take 1 million sperm to fertilize 1 egg?'

"I never realized trying to have a baby would mean replacing the soft music and candlelight with an ovulation strip, a thermometer, and a starter pistol."

'I'm sorry Mrs Jones, but according to these results your womb is extremely inhospitable, and your husband's sperm is gay.'

"Whoever she is...she's one hell of an egg donor."

"First, the good news; you're not sterile."

'We can now offer you a free range egg option.'

'I'm sorry to inform you, Mrs. Cottontail, you're out of eggs.'