Fertility Focus Gifts

"If you're so worried about the effect of your mobile phone on your sperm count maybe you should just use it less!"

"Hey, I'm thirsty. I need a drink. A drink and a liverwurst sandwich. Hey, how about a sandwich and a beer down at Gallagher's, then we can go shoot some pool? Or maybe take in a movie. Hey, I'm talking to you."

'No, I'm not stranded. This is the only place I could find that has no distractions.'

"Why can't I get anything done unless I'm totally stressed out about it?" "Is it possible to be relaxed and still be productive?" "What is wrong with my brain?" "Why don't you work better?"

"I guess for me family planning is just a study in fertility."

'With these alternative fertility treatments you never quite know how things turn out,'

"I wish they'd never discovered fertility drugs!"

Radiology, Cardiology and Fertility Clinic.

"Leapfrog is the latest craze among the kids, but experts say it contribute to declining birthrates. Find out why � after the break!"

"You need to stop pressing the snooze button on your biological clock."

"Have you considered trying for a puppy?"

Man leaves sperm bank. Woman says: 'Thanks, do come again.'

"It's perfect for starting a family."

IVF assessment centre.

Fertility clinic open day - Man holding balloons shaped like sperm.

Pregnancy Test

'My wife and I can't have dogs!'

Three Parent Baby

"So, how long have you been trying?"

'Fersteimer believes in strictly minding his own business.'

Fertility Clinic - "Who wants to be mother?"

Fertility Center.

'And once we transfer the embryo, aspirate the follicles, and align your ovulation with the doctor's gold schedule, voila -- natures little miracle.'

"We can make you more pregnant than you ever though possible."

'Enough about your losing portfolio. Let me tell you about my vacation home in the Hamptons...'

'And for Pete's sake, let's cut out out all this artificial insemination.'

'Hey, hey -- You've got to stay focussed.'

"The alarm will alert us when our meditative, present-moment-restoring tech break has ended."

'I warned you that the fertility drugs might have side effects.'

Attention Span Remaining: 3 minutes, 27 seconds.

"I've spent so much time with my family that I've started to lose sight of what really matters."

'Last one in is a rotten egg.'

"Just for variety, Doc, next time let's insert the embryos doggy style."

'We can now offer you a free range egg option.'

You're expecting twins. What! I wanted a least triplets!