Fertility Topics Gifts

'Forget it - I knew a guy who went there once and he got slapped with 387 paternity suits.'

"I guess for me family planning is just a study in fertility."

'With these alternative fertility treatments you never quite know how things turn out,'

"When you look at me, Alice, what do you see?"

"I wish they'd never discovered fertility drugs!"

'I'm very confused. I never had a father. I was raised by two mummies.'

Radiology, Cardiology and Fertility Clinic.

"You need to stop pressing the snooze button on your biological clock."

"Have you considered trying for a puppy?"

"Leapfrog is the latest craze among the kids, but experts say it contribute to declining birthrates. Find out why � after the break!"

Man leaves sperm bank. Woman says: 'Thanks, do come again.'

"It's perfect for starting a family."

IVF assessment centre.

Pregnancy Test

Fertility clinic open day - Man holding balloons shaped like sperm.

'My wife and I can't have dogs!'

Three Parent Baby

"So, how long have you been trying?"

Fertility Clinic - "Who wants to be mother?"

'And for Pete's sake, let's cut out out all this artificial insemination.'

"We can make you more pregnant than you ever though possible."

Fertility Center.

"If you're so worried about the effect of your mobile phone on your sperm count maybe you should just use it less!"

'I warned you that the fertility drugs might have side effects.'

'And once we transfer the embryo, aspirate the follicles, and align your ovulation with the doctor's gold schedule, voila -- natures little miracle.'

"Just for variety, Doc, next time let's insert the embryos doggy style."

'Last one in is a rotten egg.'

You're expecting twins. What! I wanted a least triplets!

Science and mothers day

"First, the good news; you're not sterile."

"I never realized trying to have a baby would mean replacing the soft music and candlelight with an ovulation strip, a thermometer, and a starter pistol."

'Why does it take 1 million sperm to fertilize 1 egg?'

'I'm sorry Mrs Jones, but according to these results your womb is extremely inhospitable, and your husband's sperm is gay.'

Sperm Bank: Penetrations...Withdrawals.

"Whoever she is...she's one hell of an egg donor."