Fertility Topics Prints

'Forget it - I knew a guy who went there once and he got slapped with 387 paternity suits.'

"I guess for me family planning is just a study in fertility."

'With these alternative fertility treatments you never quite know how things turn out,'

"When you look at me, Alice, what do you see?"

"I wish they'd never discovered fertility drugs!"

Radiology, Cardiology and Fertility Clinic.

"Have you considered trying for a puppy?"

"You need to stop pressing the snooze button on your biological clock."

"Leapfrog is the latest craze among the kids, but experts say it contribute to declining birthrates. Find out why � after the break!"

Man leaves sperm bank. Woman says: 'Thanks, do come again.'

IVF assessment centre.

"It's perfect for starting a family."

"So, how long have you been trying?"

Three Parent Baby

'My wife and I can't have dogs!'

Fertility clinic open day - Man holding balloons shaped like sperm.

Pregnancy Test

'I warned you that the fertility drugs might have side effects.'

'And once we transfer the embryo, aspirate the follicles, and align your ovulation with the doctor's gold schedule, voila -- natures little miracle.'

"We can make you more pregnant than you ever though possible."

Fertility Clinic - "Who wants to be mother?"

"If you're so worried about the effect of your mobile phone on your sperm count maybe you should just use it less!"

'And for Pete's sake, let's cut out out all this artificial insemination.'

Fertility Center.

"Just for variety, Doc, next time let's insert the embryos doggy style."

"In brief, we'll stimulate your ovaries with daily medications or hormones, perform an oocyte retrieval at the hospital, incubate the eggs in a petri dish at the laboratory, and then sit back and let nature take its course"

You're expecting twins. What! I wanted a least triplets!

Science and mothers day

'Why does it take 1 million sperm to fertilize 1 egg?'

"First, the good news; you're not sterile."

'I'm sorry Mrs Jones, but according to these results your womb is extremely inhospitable, and your husband's sperm is gay.'

"Whoever she is...she's one hell of an egg donor."

'We can now offer you a free range egg option.'

"I never realized trying to have a baby would mean replacing the soft music and candlelight with an ovulation strip, a thermometer, and a starter pistol."