Dea Agent Gifts

-'Okay Rebel, find the drugs.' -'Are you kidding? There's dirty underwear here!'

"I started off as a sniffer but learning to speak opened up a whole new world for me."

Insecurity

Relax, I'm just here to pick up a prescription.

Quack Quack Gets Busted

After his failure with the three little pigs, the big bad wolf went on to a successful career with the drug enforcement agency.

Sex parties paid for by DEA drug money

"I'm sorry Madam, but we have evidence to suggest your Jack has been growing more than just giant beanstalks."

Man to realtor: 'How much for a starter cubicle?'

"Enough with how great the public schools are. Just tell us – is there a Trader Joe’s nearby?"

"Do you see yourself becoming a movie in five years?"

'So you want an advance on your writer's block?'

'It's not easy being ahead of your time.'

1599: Shakespeare's Agent knew what the public wanted

'The C minus was sufficient. I didn't need the advice against hiring a literary agent.'

"Your hunch was right, Officer Garcia. We'll need a good editor to clean up this manuscript and bring his unfinished novel to a satisfying conclusion."

'Look - a starfish, its manager, its agent, its minders, its significant other, its make-up artist, its personal trainer, its secretary, its astrologer, its feng shui consultant...'

"College basketball recruiters are after him."

"Have you read any of Shakespeare's plays?"

"Seth, here, is one of the best young creative compromisers in the business."

'I have a best selling novel on the tip of my tongue...'

'The housing market may be flat, but pillow-fort construction is blooming!'

'As a famous writer, could you do something to help jumpstart my career?'

Man sees sign stating dog for sale, house and land thrown in.

No Baseball

"No—You're thinking dog years—Editor years are twice as many."

"What your memoir really needs is an addiction."

'Maybe we should sign him before the MVP award is announced.'

'I'm retiring soon and looking for something more comfortable...like a loafer.'

Currently Boston

Your resume begins Once Upon A Time...I like that!

Building Site - Life Jackets must be worn.

For sale. Prime space under Jimmy's bed.

'He's going to be an estate agent, just like his Dad.'

"Moby Richard by Herman Melville" "Wonderful! Not sure about the title—let's discuss editor."