Dea Agent Pillows

-'Okay Rebel, find the drugs.' -'Are you kidding? There's dirty underwear here!'

"I started off as a sniffer but learning to speak opened up a whole new world for me."

Insecurity

Relax, I'm just here to pick up a prescription.

After his failure with the three little pigs, the big bad wolf went on to a successful career with the drug enforcement agency.

Sex parties paid for by DEA drug money

"I'm sorry Madam, but we have evidence to suggest your Jack has been growing more than just giant beanstalks."

Man to realtor: 'How much for a starter cubicle?'

"Enough with how great the public schools are. Just tell us – is there a Trader Joe’s nearby?"

"Do you see yourself becoming a movie in five years?"

'So you want an advance on your writer's block?'

'It's not easy being ahead of your time.'

1599: Shakespeare's Agent knew what the public wanted

'The C minus was sufficient. I didn't need the advice against hiring a literary agent.'

"Have you read any of Shakespeare's plays?"

'Look - a starfish, its manager, its agent, its minders, its significant other, its make-up artist, its personal trainer, its secretary, its astrologer, its feng shui consultant...'

"Your hunch was right, Officer Garcia. We'll need a good editor to clean up this manuscript and bring his unfinished novel to a satisfying conclusion."

"College basketball recruiters are after him."

"Seth, here, is one of the best young creative compromisers in the business."

'I have a best selling novel on the tip of my tongue...'

'The housing market may be flat, but pillow-fort construction is blooming!'

'As a famous writer, could you do something to help jumpstart my career?'

Man sees sign stating dog for sale, house and land thrown in.

No Baseball

"No—You're thinking dog years—Editor years are twice as many."

'Maybe we should sign him before the MVP award is announced.'

"What your memoir really needs is an addiction."

'I'm retiring soon and looking for something more comfortable...like a loafer.'

Currently Boston

Your resume begins Once Upon A Time...I like that!

Building Site - Life Jackets must be worn.

'He's going to be an estate agent, just like his Dad.'

'We're looking for somebody to work on our new top secret project. Can you tell me what kind of experience you have?'

"If you saw a book with the title 'An American Speaks Out,' would you buy it?"

'I don't have any formal training, but I do own the complet boxed set of 'Get Smart' DVD's.'