Sport Agent Pillows

"Of course I trust my agent...he's got two very honest faces"

'What distance! Pity it wasn't the hammer!'

"College basketball recruiters are after him."

'Look - a starfish, its manager, its agent, its minders, its significant other, its make-up artist, its personal trainer, its secretary, its astrologer, its feng shui consultant...'

"Seth, here, is one of the best young creative compromisers in the business."

"I'm sorry, we're looking for the voice of a spunky animated turnip and your reading is more fruit than vegetable if you understand what I mean."

'Maybe we should sign him before the MVP award is announced.'

No Baseball

Currently Boston

"We both see Ben as this summer's breakout child."

"OK, we may not have ways of making you talk, but we do have ways of making your leg twitch uncontrollably."

Egyptian Football

"Which part are you reading for?"

"Or we could raise your profile by coming out with that pimple on the end of your nose."

"Great news, I've booked you two stag nights, a hen party and fourteen solemn thanksgiving services for members of the theatrical profession"

'You haven't heard the best thing. . .no referees.'

'Good news from the field, sire! Attila did not like the referee's call, so he's folding up his tents, taking his ball and going home!'

Meet Santa's entourage

The Unsportables: Javelin Throw

'That was a flagrant misconduct of the left hand.'

'It looks suspiciously like Killer Hart is taking a dive!'

Jocko, a man for all sports' seasons.

'The only thing exciting about these games is our dads fighting with the umpire.'

"Compromise? What the hell is there between safe and out?"

Snow White and her Seven people.

'Because I'm so sick of those movies, now go get me a romantic comedy.'

'I finished last, but I was the only one who passed the drug test.'

'This is not what I meant by a free kick.'

'My long-range goal is to turn pro and lead the league in product endorsements.'

"Bob, you're just not selling me on you essential hamburgerness."

'Now what?!'

'He followed me home, Mom. Can I sign him to a five-year, $80-million contract?..'