Sports Agent Pillows

"Just remember, if you give a hundred and ten per cent, I get twenty per cent of that."

'I'm thinking of telling my agent I'd like to be paid in Euros.'

"I take it they didn't care for any of your ideas."

Currently Boston

"Would you explain to your son that there's no free agency in T-ball?"

'I'm thinking of jumping right from JV ball to the NBA.'

'He's checking with his agent to see if it's okay to score a try!'

"He wants £40,000 a week, a £2,000 win bonus and a choregraphed dance routine when he scores."

'It's not doubles. That's his agent back there.'

Signing cage.

Hockey player with dollar sign "It was in his contract."

'Who will make the most money three years from now, athletes or sports agents?'

"Let's talk salary. How does Premier League footballer sound to you?"

'Would you believe we forgot to put anything in the contract about him actually playing football?'

"I don't want to make a rookie mistake, so do I sign my contract with an X or an O?"

'If it's alright with your agent, Kolwalski, I'd like to hand the ball off to you.'

'Here comes the high-priced free agent we picked up...'

"We're offering twenty million plus incentives over a four-year period, Mrs. Morton. Can Timmy come out and play?"

New Football Teams

'I have to reneogotiate my contract. Have you seen the price of steroids lately?'

Sign Him.

"If you want to book me you'll have to see my agent."

Baseball contract signing gloves.

'What makes you think we want to sell you son.'

'This allowance represents an advance against any future product endorsement royalties.'

'Billy, they've offered to look the other way on illegal and immoral transgressions if you drop your 'I need to be spoiled rotten' demand.'

"He's agreed to sign for £75,000 a week - and do we need joined-up writing?"

'I feel insulted whenever I receive a royalties check for the bloopers reruns.'

"Winning isn't everything, junior. Making money from product endorsement deals is important too."

Just signed.

'Your franchise player will see you now, coach.'

Baseball players and their qualifications.

'You're lucky, Bob. We'll check in with your agent as a precaution, but I think it's just a bruised ego.'

Didn't I tell you, you're not for playing, you're for buying and selling

'Okay, which one of you guys brought their agent to the huddle?'