Daytime Tv Devourer Gifts

Congressionally Mandated Themes For The Daytime Talk Shows

Dear, could you please pick up some batteries? The ones in the remote are dead and I feel like I'm Amish.

"I've no idea. Maybe it's the slumber channel."

"I swapped my 'couch to 5k' training app for a '5k to couch' one!"

'I'm even starting to watch Lifetime.'

'At least he isn't into drugs.'

"Clive used to be an astronaut."

Alien uses astronaut's visor as TV to watch news.

"Press catch up, and find out what we just slept through."

Next camera crew 5 mins

'I just love this new reality show, TRADING BANK ACCOUNTS!'

'Just look at him. The face that lunched on a thousand chips.'

'If it's a universal remote, how come it doesn't work on the refrigerator?'

"It's ok -- It's the Enlightenment Channel."

The 24-Hour Celebrities Doing Something Stupid Channel.

A couple decides what to watch.

nstead of looking at fish bowl, a kid watches the fish on TV as they are being video taped.

'Time for my favorite soap opera, Nine Lives to Live.'

"That's Reubens, he's an alternate lifestyle coach."

'Y' know Derek, I really think you need to push yourself outside your comfort zone.'

Dr. Phil takes it home.

"The end of 'Shark Week' is near!"

'Some blue-arsed fly you turned out to be.'

Working from Home.

Digital TV presents "It's true there really is a channel for everyone"

3D

'The following program contains scenes that may not be appropriate for Neoconservatives.'

'Wh...What's that behind the...EEEIII!!

"They don't call them reruns anymore...they call them deja-views."

'Well I'm telling you we could have a perfectly fine holiday without it!'

'Universal remote, my eye!'

"What ever happened with that old shack you bought in the woods? You were going to rehab and flip it."