Daytime Tv Aficionado Gifts

"We begin the day hammering. Then there's 'Regis and Kathie Lee.' Then we do some more hammering, followed by lunch and 'Days of Our Lives,' more hammering, 'Oprah,' and, finally, home."

'I'm even starting to watch Lifetime.'

'Time for my favorite soap opera, Nine Lives to Live.'

"Dad, will you play judge and tell me if Raymond or Joey is the father of my baby doll?"

I don't want to go out, I just want to stay in.

Dr. Phil takes it home.

'He's really putting that media studies degree to good use.'

Congressionally Mandated Themes For The Daytime Talk Shows

'I want you to try an alternate cure for your insomnia-start watching daytime television.'

'Ready, steady, Operate'

"Synchronized sitting"

Outside the Soap Opera Screen Actors Guild.

"Has it been in your family long?"

"Henry is addicted to all of the Court programs."

'You dropped your day planner.'

'The evening news was bad enough, but now he's dozing off during the 'Today Show.''

"Do you suppose I could enjoy 'Dynasty' without listening to an hour of suspender-snapping?"

'Why do they call them 'soaps'? All they do is dig up dirt.'

'They leave the TV on for me during the day when they go to work: Boy daytime TV is boring!'

Don't bother me. I'm in my prime time mode.

Robert Kilroy Silk - Out.

'Bailiff, there's a fight in the jury room. Someone turned off Dr. Phil.'

David Dickinson

Speakers who watch too much Oprah

"He loves watching daytime shows where people throw a lot of hissy fits."

'So! You're still watching those talk shows after I told you to stop!'

Today on Oprah: Couples who are Not Having Extra-Marital Affairs

'Neighbours is on, love.'

Antiques Road Rage

'...And now stay tuned for 'Why Bother?', the program that calls itself into question!'