Daytime Television Fans Gifts

"People who watched 'Donahue'-next on 'Geraldo'!"

Xena: Warrior Princess, TV star, professional volleyball player.

'I'm even starting to watch Lifetime.'

'Time for my favorite soap opera, Nine Lives to Live.'

Dr. Phil takes it home.

"Whatever happened to traditional marriages? There they are...on national television...with millions of people watching...two women getting married! And they're both wearing blue jeans!"

A castaway on an island with an old TV that's washed ashore, sees two men in an approaching boat marked, 'TV Licensing'.

'We have lost the video and voice audio, but will continue with the laugh track.'

It's on. My new favorite game show! Welcome to: Garbage, recycling or compost?! Dana from New York you can walk away with $10,000 or try to double the green! Double, please. Okay, Dana, here's your object: A takeout container from a local restaurant. Garbage, recycling or compost? Geez. I'm guessing it would depend on whether it's got some cardboard or it's fully biodegradable. Final answer? Recycling. Wrong. Garbage! I knew it. Ridicule her! You've lost your green, loser! I'm sorry. I try so ha

'He's really putting that media studies degree to good use.'

Congressionally Mandated Themes For The Daytime Talk Shows

Outside the Soap Opera Screen Actors Guild.

'Ready, steady, Operate'

After hours TV.

"We begin the day hammering. Then there's 'Regis and Kathie Lee.' Then we do some more hammering, followed by lunch and 'Days of Our Lives,' more hammering, 'Oprah,' and, finally, home."

Baby in carrier is watching TV on dad's back.

Employee Survival School

'They leave the TV on for me during the day when they go to work: Boy daytime TV is boring!'

'Bailiff, there's a fight in the jury room. Someone turned off Dr. Phil.'

'Why do they call them 'soaps'? All they do is dig up dirt.'

Robert Kilroy Silk - Out.

"Henry is addicted to all of the Court programs."

"Do you suppose I could enjoy 'Dynasty' without listening to an hour of suspender-snapping?"

David Dickinson

'Have you noticed? She always calls a recess at the exact time 'Oprah' comes on tv.'

Rich Hall.

Speakers who watch too much Oprah

"He loves watching daytime shows where people throw a lot of hissy fits."

'So you're not wanting a DNA test or a lie detector test??!!...What are you, some kind of freak or something!?..'

"I know a lot of people will say, 'Oh, no—not another book about cats.'"

"Are the kids asleep?"

Rofl Harris

'Ahmadinejad strikes me as the kind of man Jay Leno makes jokes about...'

Jay Leno

The Hex Files