Daytime Television Fans Gifts

"People who watched 'Donahue'-next on 'Geraldo'!"

'I'm even starting to watch Lifetime.'

'Time for my favorite soap opera, Nine Lives to Live.'

Dr. Phil takes it home.

"Whatever happened to traditional marriages? There they are...on national television...with millions of people watching...two women getting married! And they're both wearing blue jeans!"

'We have lost the video and voice audio, but will continue with the laugh track.'

A castaway on an island with an old TV that's washed ashore, sees two men in an approaching boat marked, 'TV Licensing'.

'He's really putting that media studies degree to good use.'

Outside the Soap Opera Screen Actors Guild.

'Ready, steady, Operate'

After hours TV.

Congressionally Mandated Themes For The Daytime Talk Shows

"We begin the day hammering. Then there's 'Regis and Kathie Lee.' Then we do some more hammering, followed by lunch and 'Days of Our Lives,' more hammering, 'Oprah,' and, finally, home."

Baby in carrier is watching TV on dad's back.

'Why do they call them 'soaps'? All they do is dig up dirt.'

'They leave the TV on for me during the day when they go to work: Boy daytime TV is boring!'

Robert Kilroy Silk - Out.

"Do you suppose I could enjoy 'Dynasty' without listening to an hour of suspender-snapping?"

"Henry is addicted to all of the Court programs."

'Bailiff, there's a fight in the jury room. Someone turned off Dr. Phil.'

David Dickinson

Speakers who watch too much Oprah

'Ahmadinejad strikes me as the kind of man Jay Leno makes jokes about...'

The Hex Files

"I know a lot of people will say, 'Oh, no—not another book about cats.'"

"He loves watching daytime shows where people throw a lot of hissy fits."

"Are the kids asleep?"