Daytime Tv Enthusiast Gifts

Today on Oprah: Couples who are Not Having Extra-Marital Affairs

'Neighbours is on, love.'

"Thanks for the advice, Dr. Phil. I'll take it from here."

SHRUNKEN ID STRIP#5 "There's something missing in my life..."

Off sick with the lurgy.

'Bailiff, there's a fight in the jury room. Someone turned off Dr. Phil.'

This is Lenny the leopard with the on-the-spot news.

Royal Mail boss to become ITV boss.

"Don't worry - I'm here for the television."

Where the Appalachian Trail Crosses the Path of Least Resistance

"The batteries in his TV remote died. The shock of not being able to use it for two minutes has put him in a temporary state of shock."

"Well, the remote's not dowmn the back of the couch."

"Do you know any other songs besides the theme to The Andy Griffin Show?"

"I find that hugely offensive!"

We saw this episode of Grey's Anatony, I recognize the symptoms.

'Someday TVs will be in big boxes on the floor.'

'Contrary to the popular view, our studies show that it is real life that contributes to violence on television.'

'Come quick: Rin Tin Tin is on TV again...'

Big screen TV.

'Poll results are in...90% of Americans can't spell Schwarzenneger.'

What are you in the mood to get confused watching tonight?

'I'm even starting to watch Lifetime.'

'well, Fred, I see you're finally embracing technology.'

'It's O.K. Charlie - you can relax. The T.V. repairman said, 'it can be fixed!''

"You really need to think about getting glasses."

"Would you like to sleep through the film or the variety show?"

"It's not just the same old crap—it's wider."

'Now ask yourself Gerald, do we really need ALL these channels?'

"We laughed. We cried. But mostly we watched TV."

'If school is so important, why isn't it on television?'

Must-See Lockdown TV.

"I've had enough of watching grass grow. What's on the Paint Drying Channel?"

". . . yes, sir, folks . . . and furthermore, folks . . . for real quality, folks . . . yes, sir, folks . . ."

'Time for my favorite soap opera, Nine Lives to Live.'

'Two million 'Acme' TV sets have been recalled due to BZZT! BWANG! WHEET! PFFT!'