Dating Show Critic Gifts

"Nah, I just don't fancy it anymore."

Another Soft-Porn Dating Show

"I like it but does it get only the one channel?"

'Now time for a coffee while hubby cleans up the mess.'

'I'm a has-been celebrity - get me in there!'

No Talent Agency

'You will never require the services of a dating agency.'

"The house is great, but compared to reality show realtors, you're a big disappointment."

Joe Hundredaire

'Impressive screen, but doesn't it put you off your tea?'

'This is a simple proclamation-of-lack-of-interest date.'

'We were made for each other...we hate the same TV shows.'

NEW FALL LINEUP

"Sorry I'm late... I was getting our date approved by my lawyer."

"Decision time folks! Will you come back next week and try for the baby?"

Subtitle Guessing

"Honestly, Gwen! Sometimes they act as if we were pieces of meat!"

"What's this garbage?"

"I can't watch this, it's disgusting!"

Dorothy and the singles bar

"Mum, stop it, this isn't reality T.V.!" "Shh or I'll vote you out."

Viewer Discretion - Stupid Program.

'Producers don't make money from bad living actors but sometimes we can make money from actors who have tragically died... You know what I mean?'

'Well David Chuck, let's see your ideal partner...'

The Pundit Show - 'I have nothing to say about the writer's strike because my writers are on strike.'

"There's one telltale sign a man is interested in you....He weeps when you mercilessly mock him and all that he holds dear....It also weeds out the 'men' who are afraid to cry."

"It is a tossup between the devil you don't know and the devil you don't wan to know."

Permanent Annoying Logo TV.

'Let's sue the writers of 'General Hospital.' I had the same symptoms someone had on the soap, but I wasn't cured when I had brain surgery.'