Dating Show Fan Gifts

Joe Hundredaire

'In the looks department, Bill is very planed. On our date, we went to a bar and he go me hammered. I got bent out of shape and split. In my opinion, the guy's a bit warped.'

"It's about this smart T.V. that you sold me, it won't let me watch Love Island."

"Cheers! Well, this is exciting. I've never had a dinner date with a duck before." "Relax, honey. I'm just here for the bread."

"She's just being Koi."

"We were having a great conversation and then someone clapped."

"And make sure you get my daughter home before sunrise..!"

'Ok, Bachelor number 2: What's your idea of a perfect first date?'

"Good evening, I'm your date. Let me begin by saying I'm sorry I'm late, I'm sorry I'm bald and I'm sorry I'm short."

"The dinner date was a disaster! I realised he was still a "Mama's Boy" when I saw he was expecting me to regurgitate his food..."

"Something from our wine list?"

"Do you really care or are you just being a good listener?"

"Decision time folks! Will you come back next week and try for the baby?"

"He's in his late somethings, but he's cute."

If the glass slipper had disappeared at midnight with all the other stuff.

Date night between a Capricorn and Sagittarius.

'The lemon ice cream is delicious. What about yours?'

Dancing with the Star Wars

'Well David Chuck, let's see your ideal partner...'

'This is not what I meant when I said we were going dutch.'

'My ad said I was 'blond with curves' it didn't say anything about me being a woman.'

"There's one telltale sign a man is interested in you....He weeps when you mercilessly mock him and all that he holds dear....It also weeds out the 'men' who are afraid to cry."

No pressure

'The Bachelor is on at 8 but don't go getting any ideas.'

"I'm looking for someone with a brain, a heart and courage..."

"If you won't let me pay for dinner, at least let me pay for sex later."

'Hey good lookin' come here often?'

'That Jane Pauley's been on this show for years and she still hasn't found a date.' 'Maybe she forgot she's married to Garry Trudeau.'

On 'A double shot at a rewarding, platonic relationship. . . with D.J. Pauly D and Vinny' the guys hand out friendship bracelets to women that they would like to get to know better.

-and which one's your bird?

"Nah, I just don't fancy it anymore."

OK, I'm a little shallow, but I'm meaningful.

"It's my first husband. He's trying to win me back."

A young man creating an awkward silence

'Don't take it personally Dave, I'm just not into guys with ponytails.'