Dating Shows Gifts

'The Science Channel's started a new quiz show -- 'The Carbon-Dating Game.''

Joe Hundredaire

Love Is-Land

"And how would you feel shooting your arrow for a really bad match?"

"Nah, I just don't fancy it anymore."

Love Island

"I like long walks, drinking potty coladas, and long legs..."

"Decision time folks! Will you come back next week and try for the baby?"

'In the looks department, Bill is very planed. On our date, we went to a bar and he go me hammered. I got bent out of shape and split. In my opinion, the guy's a bit warped.'

'That Jane Pauley's been on this show for years and she still hasn't found a date.' 'Maybe she forgot she's married to Garry Trudeau.'

'The Bachelor is on at 8 but don't go getting any ideas.'

Another Soft-Porn Dating Show

"No matter how many times I watch this show, I can't see its appeal."

"It's about this smart T.V. that you sold me, it won't let me watch Love Island."

"Cheers! Well, this is exciting. I've never had a dinner date with a duck before." "Relax, honey. I'm just here for the bread."

Sure, he's a zombie but hey, it's nice to finally meet someone who is more interested in my brains than my body.

'Past performance is not an indication of future results.'

"May I have this arythmic flail?"

"Maybe the next one will be a singles cruise."

"This is the perfect way to watch movies if you love mosquitoes and having a cold, wet butt."

"Cheers! Well, this is exciting. I've never had a dinner date with a duck before." "Relax, honey. I'm just here for the bread."

Life is for the birds.

"I'll bet your're a Taurus. Right?"

So Close..

Romance

Speed Dating for Turtles

"...and someone with no fleas. Anything else?"

I'm looking for a man who can meet my needs - Cream meringue master-chef.

Give us a drink that says "we're in love." Oh no, not again. Today's Special. Latte + 1hr web $12.50. We're back together. We're celebrating. Give us my darling pudding pie's favorite drink. A cinnamon mocha latte with a peppermint lollipop swizzle stick. Excuse me?! That is not my favorite drink ... dear. My favorite drink is a cinnamon mocha latte with a spearmint lollipop swizzle stick ... dear. I am so sorry ... snookums. How could I have possibly been so heartless and thoughtless as to con

"Yes, I'm from London. 'Which part?' you ask. Well all of me!"

"Jackie, why does your relationship status read ‘capitulated to’ me?!"

"When you say that love is in the air, you're referring to the smells from the food trucks, right?"

Right click for yes...

"You should be sniffed, and often, by someone who knows how."

'Cow in love'