Dating Show Fans Gifts

'Well David Chuck, let's see your ideal partner...'

Xena: Warrior Princess, TV star, professional volleyball player.

"She's just being Koi."

'Ok, Bachelor number 2: What's your idea of a perfect first date?'

"Good evening, I'm your date. Let me begin by saying I'm sorry I'm late, I'm sorry I'm bald and I'm sorry I'm short."

Joe Hundredaire

'Hi, I'm Raoul...I shall be your talking point of the evening.'

"Decision time folks! Will you come back next week and try for the baby?"

Baby in carrier is watching TV on dad's back.

"He's in his late somethings, but he's cute."

If the glass slipper had disappeared at midnight with all the other stuff.

Rofl Harris

'Don't give up hope - Anthony Bourdain is bound to show up sooner or later.'

"There's one telltale sign a man is interested in you....He weeps when you mercilessly mock him and all that he holds dear....It also weeds out the 'men' who are afraid to cry."

No pressure

'The Bachelor is on at 8 but don't go getting any ideas.'

Why worms have no confidence

'My ad said I was 'blond with curves' it didn't say anything about me being a woman.'

Duncan made a real faux pas when he heard that his blind date was expecting a baby.

"I'm looking for someone with a brain, a heart and courage..."

"If you won't let me pay for dinner, at least let me pay for sex later."

'Don't take it personally Dave, I'm just not into guys with ponytails.'

On 'A double shot at a rewarding, platonic relationship. . . with D.J. Pauly D and Vinny' the guys hand out friendship bracelets to women that they would like to get to know better.

A young man creating an awkward silence

"It's about this smart T.V. that you sold me, it won't let me watch Love Island."

'In the looks department, Bill is very planed. On our date, we went to a bar and he go me hammered. I got bent out of shape and split. In my opinion, the guy's a bit warped.'

"But, Denise, if we stay married six more weeks, we can go into syndication!"

Eddie Münster

I'm looking stuff up for diversity day. Anything good? Yeah. Americans are deeply into exploring racial understanding. How do we do that? According to my Google search, it's clearly

'We need you to settle a bet -- was 'Twilight Zone' a sitcom or a documentary?'

"It's my first husband. He's trying to win me back."

'The pigs can't move, they just lie there... it's awful.'

Who Wants to Be A Millipede?

"Nah, I just don't fancy it anymore."

I'm in a quandary, Ann. On the one hand, I was hoping to have "the most fun you can have without laughing" tonight. On the other hand, this being a comic strip, going for laughs is the whole idea. What would Beetle Bailey do?