Relationship Reality Show Fan Gifts

"It's my first husband. He's trying to win me back."

"Davina McCall: Life at the Extreme takes a celebrity to the most extreme places on Earth!"

Life is for the birds.

"First date hairball... awkward."

Hello. I'm Ferdinand. I'll be monitoring the levels of bull at your table this evening. Menu. Menu.

'Stop complaining woman, you wanted a boating holiday!'

"My monthly screen time went up from 62 hours to ‘Holy #@!*’."

'I wouldn't kick her out of bed.'

Andy Oxidant meets Free Radical.

"He should be up and complaining in no time."

"Open a wine that will make me want to watch the shows you want to watch."

"It's Doris Kearns Goodwin. Is there anything we'd like to know about the Presidency?"

"You don't sniff my butt anymore."

Parents start infant on the way to fame.

'I knew you would come crawling back.'

Prepare yourself, America. Dancing with the Stars is poised to present a new 12-week competition. And you'll never guess who's dancing now! Listen to the passion and fight in our newest celebrity dancer

"This merger is not producing the expected synergies."

'Ok, Bachelor number 2: What's your idea of a perfect first date?'

One cheese omelette, and I've never cheated on my husband. Um, okay. Anything else? A side of hash browns for this one-man woman! And a chocolate as hot and sweet as my intensely singular love for this phenomenal guy. Chuck? Yes dear? I've been having an affair for the last six months. Oh don't act surprised. One scone, and what the @#$% just happened? The denial and snacks before the storm.

Dispute between Pelosi and Trump

'Looks like the Wentworths are still on the outs.'

'Roger, you're just a Rooster and I'm just a Hen. Is all of this necessary?'

"Well that's the last of our offspring gone - let battle commence."

'Scrub that previous message Houston. There is no, I repeat no intelligent life on Mars.'

'I'm a has-been celebrity - get me in there!'

What do I want out of our relationship? Same thing anyone wants. Good value.

"My parent's think I'm apathetic, but I don't care."

'You don't know how much it would mean to me if you could just jump.'

'You can't keep rescuing him. If he really wants help, book him an appointment.'

'...Nadine Dorries has sent you a present from Australia. She said as soon as she saw it she thought of you!'

'Marry me!'

"Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs would make a great reality show."

"Manfred, don't get so defensive!"

"Ogden, you're taking yourself too damn seriously."

Man sees capitol building: 'Truth, Justice, Reality TV'