Dating Show Fan Pillows

Joe Hundredaire

"Cheers! Well, this is exciting. I've never had a dinner date with a duck before." "Relax, honey. I'm just here for the bread."

"She's just being Koi."

"We were having a great conversation and then someone clapped."

"And make sure you get my daughter home before sunrise..!"

'Ok, Bachelor number 2: What's your idea of a perfect first date?'

"Good evening, I'm your date. Let me begin by saying I'm sorry I'm late, I'm sorry I'm bald and I'm sorry I'm short."

"The dinner date was a disaster! I realised he was still a "Mama's Boy" when I saw he was expecting me to regurgitate his food..."

"Do you really care or are you just being a good listener?"

"Decision time folks! Will you come back next week and try for the baby?"

'The lemon ice cream is delicious. What about yours?'

Date night between a Capricorn and Sagittarius.

"He's in his late somethings, but he's cute."

Dancing with the Star Wars

If the glass slipper had disappeared at midnight with all the other stuff.

'Well David Chuck, let's see your ideal partner...'

'This is not what I meant when I said we were going dutch.'

'My ad said I was 'blond with curves' it didn't say anything about me being a woman.'

"There's one telltale sign a man is interested in you....He weeps when you mercilessly mock him and all that he holds dear....It also weeds out the 'men' who are afraid to cry."

"I'm looking for someone with a brain, a heart and courage..."

"If you won't let me pay for dinner, at least let me pay for sex later."

A young man creating an awkward silence

"Nah, I just don't fancy it anymore."

'Don't take it personally Dave, I'm just not into guys with ponytails.'

"It's my first husband. He's trying to win me back."

OK, I'm a little shallow, but I'm meaningful.

'Hey good lookin' come here often?'

-and which one's your bird?

Mona Lisa in a bar: 'Forget it, Ted...she's way out of your league!'