Dating Show Addict Pillows

If the glass slipper had disappeared at midnight with all the other stuff.

Showbiz Awards

"The following program was made possible by fluctuations in the random chaos of the Universe...."

"And the letterbox version, how does that make you feel."

'They're just like us, except they watch more television.'

'Now for today's numbers...'Bad Dogs' outnumbered 'Good Dogs' by two-to-one...'

"We'd better stock up on TV snacks in the event of war."

Big screen TV falling through floor

"This just in... the country has adopted a 24 hr military clock... ...details at 23."

'The anger management is working... tonight there were fewer veins popping.'

Overshadowed by the Tony's: Broadway's Lesser Known Awards

"The end of my favorite series is near."

"Oh joy. Looks like the turkey is almost done..."

"Despite thoroughly scraping the celebrity barrel, that Orwellian nightmare Celebrity Big Brother is back on our screens again."

'The following programme contains scones of a sexual nature.'

'Hello Mr Preston? This is an ALIEN speaking. We have landed in your paddock. We have mutilated your cows. We have made loud crashing noises...what the hell is on your TV that's so special?'

"Not fair! Being really into movies is my thing!"

'No, you can't just watch the end of Bargainhunt!'

"Please don't watch this show! There's a viewer trigger warning and a short fuse alert."

'The inaugural address? It's sort of like an opening monologue.'

Astrological forecasts of the rich and famous

'During the next commercial, I'd like to talk to you about your childhood.'

Triceratops watching television with satellite dish made from own horns.

'Dear, you're not supposed to take it seriously...it's a reality show!'

"It's hard being a TV viewer trapped in the body of a student."

The cradle of mankind

"Is anything good on?"

"When did you first notice you were larger than life?"

"It's General Douglas MacArthur."