Dating Show Addict Pillows

If the glass slipper had disappeared at midnight with all the other stuff.

Showbiz Awards

"The following program was made possible by fluctuations in the random chaos of the Universe...."

'They're just like us, except they watch more television.'

"And the letterbox version, how does that make you feel."

'Now for today's numbers...'Bad Dogs' outnumbered 'Good Dogs' by two-to-one...'

"This just in... the country has adopted a 24 hr military clock... ...details at 23."

Stephen Fry

"We'd better stock up on TV snacks in the event of war."

'The anger management is working... tonight there were fewer veins popping.'

Big screen TV falling through floor

Overshadowed by the Tony's: Broadway's Lesser Known Awards

"The end of my favorite series is near."

NOVA. Don't worry --- The "vacuum of space" is not that kind of vacuum.

"Oh joy. Looks like the turkey is almost done..."

"Not fair! Being really into movies is my thing!"

"Please don't watch this show! There's a viewer trigger warning and a short fuse alert."

"Despite thoroughly scraping the celebrity barrel, that Orwellian nightmare Celebrity Big Brother is back on our screens again."

'Hello Mr Preston? This is an ALIEN speaking. We have landed in your paddock. We have mutilated your cows. We have made loud crashing noises...what the hell is on your TV that's so special?'

'The following programme contains scones of a sexual nature.'

'No, you can't just watch the end of Bargainhunt!'

Can't Touch This

'The inaugural address? It's sort of like an opening monologue.'

Astrological forecasts of the rich and famous

Starvation Watching

Ask not what your country can do for you, ask what is good on Netflix.

'During the next commercial, I'd like to talk to you about your childhood.'

'So, ten thousand pounds could be yours if you call in and answer this question...Why the hell aren't you in bed?!'

'Dear, you're not supposed to take it seriously...it's a reality show!'

Do you go for Hannity or O'Reilly? Tough call. O'Reilly's presence is so big, fearless. Whereas Hannity has a wicked fast tongue and such inner strength. As symbolized externally by his jawline. O'Reilly is so tall. Something strange is happening. Coulter's a bit masculine for my tastes. Ditto. HOJ.

"It's hard being a TV viewer trapped in the body of a student."

"Can you do battle with him later?... He's watching, 'Game of Thrones'."

Triceratops watching television with satellite dish made from own horns.

"Is anything good on?"

"When did you first notice you were larger than life?"