Reality Show Addict Pillows

'Television sales are down for the first time in a decade.'

'They're just like us, except they watch more television.'

"This just in... the country has adopted a 24 hr military clock... ...details at 23."

Overshadowed by the Tony's: Broadway's Lesser Known Awards

"The end of my favorite series is near."

"Please don't watch this show! There's a viewer trigger warning and a short fuse alert."

"Not fair! Being really into movies is my thing!"

"Oh joy. Looks like the turkey is almost done..."

'No, you can't just watch the end of Bargainhunt!'

'The following programme contains scones of a sexual nature.'

"Despite thoroughly scraping the celebrity barrel, that Orwellian nightmare Celebrity Big Brother is back on our screens again."

'The inaugural address? It's sort of like an opening monologue.'

Astrological forecasts of the rich and famous

Death Styles of the Rich and Famous

"It's General Douglas MacArthur."

"What's the best way to break up a marriage?"

Hot New Talk Shows!

'In an unexpected development, an illegal alien won 'American Idol.''

"Alright, I'll talk. Just please, stop with the good-cop, ab-cop routine."

"I wonder which will come first. Me finishing this binge worthy Netflix series or another Netflix rate hike."

'We've been picking up your television broadcasts, and we're here to buy some of those neat steak knives!'

"This is too hard, but I'd recognize him on his own."

"He goes through the TV listings deleting all the 'trash' I like."

Goose escapes the tv.

'Bad news. Your arm is too injured to hold up those sneakers you endorse on TV.'

Eleven/Millie Bobby Brown

"The DNA does not lie Mrs Miggins...or should I call you Don Escobar Bolivian drugs czar?"

'No. 5, please step forward, open your coat, and say, 'ho, ho, ho.''

Late one night at the SETI project. 'Don't make us come over there!'