Crime Show Addicts Pillows

"Now that's what I call organised crime!"

'No doubt about it Captain. See these markings? This arrow belongs to Robin Hood!'

Assault 'n' Vinegar

Good Cop/Bad Cholesterol

"You can't prove that I broke it! Where's your physical evidence? Fingerprints or a DNA profile?"

"This is probably not the time to admit I only joined the force because I figured we'd just be chasing cat burglars."

"Don't make me warn you again, monkey. Stay outa the curiosity racket."

"Now that's a win."

'We subpoenaed all of 'Mr. Big's' electronic messages. They're in morse code.'

'You don't have a license and registration, do you?'

"At some point, there's only so high you can raise the volume before you admit you're never gonna understand what British detectives are saying."

"The end of my favorite series is near."

Fred Dinsdale - Forensic expert.

"Please don't watch this show! There's a viewer trigger warning and a short fuse alert."

'No, you can't just watch the end of Bargainhunt!'

"#notguilty."

Police film evidence

He's making a list --- Holmes solves cases quicker when he itemizes deductions.

'When I grow up I want to join the SWAT team!'

'I hate frisking magicians!'

"Why not stay with your mother and me? The Feds will never find you here."

Lawn Order. It's a landscaping show about maintaining a tidy yard.

'Careful, Mugsy, he's got a tool.'

"I think I'm as patient as the next person, but my husband wouldn't stop saying 'yo,' so I shot him."

He loves the water.

"Okay so which one stole your cereal?"

'The inaugural address? It's sort of like an opening monologue.'

'Hey, buddy -- can you keep a secret?'

Miami Mice

"Take your time. Do you see the person who made you wear that dress?"

'I got 397 dead birds and the mayor breathing down my neck. So, is this our perp or just another copycat?'

"All I can figure is that he must have been inspecting the water quality of our lakes and rivers when he became entangled in cement."

"I can't be sure...I only got a quick look."

'And for those of you calling in to say he is behind us - OH NO he isn't.'

'It's heartbreaking to see Reynolds in trouble for fraud again, but I always look forward to his rooftop chases.'