Crime Docuseries Addict Pillows

'I'm getting into a rut -- campaign, election, indictment, parole... campaign, election, indictment, parole....'

"You can't prove that I broke it! Where's your physical evidence? Fingerprints or a DNA profile?"

"Despite thoroughly scraping the celebrity barrel, that Orwellian nightmare Celebrity Big Brother is back on our screens again."

I always forget - Are we supposed to tip?

Starvation Watching

"Why not stay with your mother and me? The Feds will never find you here."

Ask not what your country can do for you, ask what is good on Netflix.

"I'm sorry- when you said 'bad' cop, I assumed you meant incompetent."

'It's the same EVERY year... 5 minutes to midnight; victims are all male, and they're carrying large sums of money.'

Back in 2 to 5 years.

'The close Ops surveillance people have just sent these photo's over and we now strongly suspect that Jimmy the Greek is onto us...'

"You're under arrest for an attempted murder."

'I'm going to ask you one more time; who left a hot mug on this table?'

Doughnut Criminals

Parachuting with Concrete Shoes

"What are you thinking of, Dear?" "Oh just something I said to Robert Mueller."

"Alright, I'll talk. Just please, stop with the good-cop, ab-cop routine."

Mobster Dogs Burying Bones

To Get Pardoned by Trump, Become a Celeb

'... and make it look like an accident.'

'Don't you people ever take a pulse? ! '

"Of course I got rid of him...in my own way."

Noir kitty.

"I wonder which will come first. Me finishing this binge worthy Netflix series or another Netflix rate hike."

Violence on TV.

"This is too hard, but I'd recognize him on his own."

'A fine? It's not as though I ran over more than one building inspector.'

Eleven/Millie Bobby Brown

'Cause of death is still unknown. We hope to learn more once he's dead'

"The DNA does not lie Mrs Miggins...or should I call you Don Escobar Bolivian drugs czar?"

'No. 5, please step forward, open your coat, and say, 'ho, ho, ho.''

'Seriously, not a single fingerprint?!'

"Hey neighbour - you do know the bin-bags go out on Thursday...??"

'Do you see your assailant anywhere in this photo array?'

According to this program, cows have four stomachs so they can digest the grasses they eat. You must be watching "Graze Anatomy."