Detective Series Addict Pillows

Robert Taylor.

Showbiz Awards

"The following program was made possible by fluctuations in the random chaos of the Universe...."

Joan Hickson

'They're just like us, except they watch more television.'

"And the letterbox version, how does that make you feel."

'Now for today's numbers...'Bad Dogs' outnumbered 'Good Dogs' by two-to-one...'

Stephen Fry

"We'd better stock up on TV snacks in the event of war."

"This just in... the country has adopted a 24 hr military clock... ...details at 23."

Big screen TV falling through floor

'The anger management is working... tonight there were fewer veins popping.'

"The end of my favorite series is near."

NOVA. Don't worry --- The "vacuum of space" is not that kind of vacuum.

"Please don't watch this show! There's a viewer trigger warning and a short fuse alert."

"Despite thoroughly scraping the celebrity barrel, that Orwellian nightmare Celebrity Big Brother is back on our screens again."

'Hello Mr Preston? This is an ALIEN speaking. We have landed in your paddock. We have mutilated your cows. We have made loud crashing noises...what the hell is on your TV that's so special?'

'No, you can't just watch the end of Bargainhunt!'

'The inaugural address? It's sort of like an opening monologue.'

Astrological forecasts of the rich and famous

Starvation Watching

'I believe the murderer is in this very room.'

Can't Touch This

Ask not what your country can do for you, ask what is good on Netflix.

'I can't believe an Alligator stole my identity... I mean, it's quite obvious I'm a Crocodile!'

'During the next commercial, I'd like to talk to you about your childhood.'

The cradle of mankind

'Dear, you're not supposed to take it seriously...it's a reality show!'

"It's General Douglas MacArthur."

"It's hard being a TV viewer trapped in the body of a student."

"Can you do battle with him later?... He's watching, 'Game of Thrones'."

Triceratops watching television with satellite dish made from own horns.

"Is anything good on?"

'So, ten thousand pounds could be yours if you call in and answer this question...Why the hell aren't you in bed?!'

"When did you first notice you were larger than life?"