Crime Docuseries Addict Gifts

'I'm getting into a rut -- campaign, election, indictment, parole... campaign, election, indictment, parole....'

"You can't prove that I broke it! Where's your physical evidence? Fingerprints or a DNA profile?"

"Despite thoroughly scraping the celebrity barrel, that Orwellian nightmare Celebrity Big Brother is back on our screens again."

"Why not stay with your mother and me? The Feds will never find you here."

"I'm sorry- when you said 'bad' cop, I assumed you meant incompetent."

Back in 2 to 5 years.

"What are you thinking of, Dear?" "Oh just something I said to Robert Mueller."

'I'm going to ask you one more time; who left a hot mug on this table?'

Parachuting with Concrete Shoes

"You're under arrest for an attempted murder."

'The close Ops surveillance people have just sent these photo's over and we now strongly suspect that Jimmy the Greek is onto us...'

Doughnut Criminals

'... and make it look like an accident.'

Mobster Dogs Burying Bones

"Alright, I'll talk. Just please, stop with the good-cop, ab-cop routine."

'Don't you people ever take a pulse? ! '

"Of course I got rid of him...in my own way."

Noir kitty.

"I wonder which will come first. Me finishing this binge worthy Netflix series or another Netflix rate hike."

"This is too hard, but I'd recognize him on his own."

Violence on TV.

'A fine? It's not as though I ran over more than one building inspector.'

Eleven/Millie Bobby Brown

'Cause of death is still unknown. We hope to learn more once he's dead'

"The DNA does not lie Mrs Miggins...or should I call you Don Escobar Bolivian drugs czar?"

'No. 5, please step forward, open your coat, and say, 'ho, ho, ho.''

'Seriously, not a single fingerprint?!'

"Hey neighbour - you do know the bin-bags go out on Thursday...??"

'Do you see your assailant anywhere in this photo array?'

"We've got TV on demand."