Crime Docuseries Binge-watcher Gifts

'And now, a list of today's professional athlete felony assaults....'

Joan Hickson

"Okay so which one stole your cereal?"

Cop Shop: Bulk, dried blood, shaved hair, ground teeth, assorted body parts and bone fragments.

'It's the same EVERY year... 5 minutes to midnight; victims are all male, and they're carrying large sums of money.'

Doughnut Criminals

Mobster Dogs Burying Bones

Washing line with robber outfit and swag bag hanging up to dry.

'The close Ops surveillance people have just sent these photo's over and we now strongly suspect that Jimmy the Greek is onto us...'

'... and make it look like an accident.'

To Get Pardoned by Trump, Become a Celeb

'I'm just saying... Maybe we're over doing the old 'good cop, bad cop' routine.'

"What are you thinking of, Dear?" "Oh just something I said to Robert Mueller."

"Of course I got rid of him...in my own way."

"I'm sorry Muggzy, but I'm taking the deal and turning state's witness."

'With all those presents Santa carries, do you think he packs heat? . . . And maybe he's not really fat, but he's wearing a kevlar vest.'

"Don't pull that ditzy-chick, routine with me! A witness saw you cross the road, what I want to know is. . . why?"

"Whack him. And if you can't whack him, redact him."

'I'm in for identity theft, I stole it off someone who was wanted for murder.'

"This is too hard, but I'd recognize him on his own."

'This will help you keep track of who's who.'

'Cause of death is still unknown. We hope to learn more once he's dead'

'After we showed him the partial print we got at the crime scene he decided to lawyer up.'

'Seriously, not a single fingerprint?!'

Richard gets the third degree.

Crime Stoppers Stopper / Cash to keep yer trap shut

"Hey neighbour - you do know the bin-bags go out on Thursday...??"

Mafia Shrinks

"Hey, let's mix it up a bit today and have you be the bad cop."

The Future of Detective Work

"The mortgage payments on our new hideout should be somewhat alleviated by our upcoming schedule of bank robberies."

'Oh, how moving, it's a woodland burial, Dennis.'

"Did he have any known enemies?"

'It's not a Ponzi scheme. It's a Ponzi FUND.'

"He'll crack. We're using the good cop, ambiguous cop, perplexed coop, detached cop, forgetful cop, bad cop scenario."