Watching Crime Documentaries Gifts

The Future of Detective Work

Reserved crime scene.

"The yellow spotted green bird, eats its body weight in bugs, and mates once every three years."

'After giving a recorded statement to these people, being grilled by 60 Minutes would seem like a piece of cake.'

"Seriously, you can't balance the budget with cushion change."

"And next up, Fairy Tales: FolkLORE or FolkLIES!"

The following wildlife film is sponsored in part by a grant from...Mother Nature Foundation.

"Okay so which one stole your cereal?"

A bunch of global warming skeptics want to join eco club. It's a school organization. You have to let them in. But they just want to harass us with selective facts! Today: Eco club. So? Debate is good. You have :An Inconvenient Truth" to counter their arguments. Oh. Great. Now we'll have to read it.

Cop Shop: Bulk, dried blood, shaved hair, ground teeth, assorted body parts and bone fragments.

"It's a beautiful day except for the murders."

'I'm just saying... Maybe we're over doing the old 'good cop, bad cop' routine.'

"Ok, don't move. I want to capture the drama and intrigue of your life."

Washing line with robber outfit and swag bag hanging up to dry.

"What are you thinking of, Dear?" "Oh just something I said to Robert Mueller."

"Nothing like the History Channel to get you to appreciate these peaceful times we're enjoying."

Mobster Dogs Burying Bones

"I found a partial thumbprint. Let's get the heck out of here"

Sicko.

"Whack him. And if you can't whack him, redact him."

'This will help you keep track of who's who.'

'I'm in for identity theft, I stole it off someone who was wanted for murder.'

"This is too hard, but I'd recognize him on his own."

"I'm sorry Muggzy, but I'm taking the deal and turning state's witness."

'With all those presents Santa carries, do you think he packs heat? . . . And maybe he's not really fat, but he's wearing a kevlar vest.'

Crime Stoppers Stopper / Cash to keep yer trap shut

"Hey neighbour - you do know the bin-bags go out on Thursday...??"

"We've picked up a tail."

Richard gets the third degree.

"It's a Plodcast!"

'So what else can you do, besides reign?'

The Sun: A History. . .

"The mortgage payments on our new hideout should be somewhat alleviated by our upcoming schedule of bank robberies."

'Oh, how moving, it's a woodland burial, Dennis.'

Mafia Shrinks