Dating Show Critic Prints

"Nah, I just don't fancy it anymore."

Another Soft-Porn Dating Show

American Idle.

"I like it but does it get only the one channel?"

It's not a bad planet -- Their talk shows make it seem a lot worse than it is.

'Now time for a coffee while hubby cleans up the mess.'

'I'm a has-been celebrity - get me in there!'

No Talent Agency

'You will never require the services of a dating agency.'

"The house is great, but compared to reality show realtors, you're a big disappointment."

'This is a simple proclamation-of-lack-of-interest date.'

NEW FALL LINEUP

Joe Hundredaire

'We were made for each other...we hate the same TV shows.'

'Impressive screen, but doesn't it put you off your tea?'

Sometimes I think your generation was the last truly human one, Mort. What do you mean? Your generation finished exploring the earth's surface, and when you were done with that, you went to the moon. For millennia, mankind was defined by its insatiable thirst for exploration. But that's all come to a sad end. I'm going to Mars to be on a reality show! DNC. I stand uncorrected.

BBC repeats are for life not just Christmas.

"Sorry I'm late... I was getting our date approved by my lawyer."

Eastenders: This Programme Contains Bad Acting And One-Dimensional Characterisation

"Decision time folks! Will you come back next week and try for the baby?"

Subtitle Guessing

"The ward for vegetables in a persistent humanoid state."

Dorothy and the singles bar

Viewer Discretion - Stupid Program.

"Honestly, Gwen! Sometimes they act as if we were pieces of meat!"

"Mum, stop it, this isn't reality T.V.!" "Shh or I'll vote you out."

"I can't watch this, it's disgusting!"

'Producers don't make money from bad living actors but sometimes we can make money from actors who have tragically died... You know what I mean?'

"What's this garbage?"

'Well David Chuck, let's see your ideal partner...'

"I like you, but only in a Facebook thumbs up kind of way."

I find it odd that there's never any astronomers on "Dancing with the Stars."

The Pundit Show - 'I have nothing to say about the writer's strike because my writers are on strike.'

"It is a tossup between the devil you don't know and the devil you don't wan to know."

'Let's sue the writers of 'General Hospital.' I had the same symptoms someone had on the soap, but I wasn't cured when I had brain surgery.'