Dating Culture Critic Gifts

"Honestly, Gwen! Sometimes they act as if we were pieces of meat!"

'I can't believe you actually JOINED the 'Psycho Girlfriend of the Month' Club!'

"If he asks for p*ssy ut's fine, so long as it really is a metonymy."

'He's not showing off to me as much as he used to...'

'You will never require the services of a dating agency.'

'This is a simple proclamation-of-lack-of-interest date.'

"Sorry I'm late... I was getting our date approved by my lawyer."

I am sorry you can't have Sonia,she is for display only.'

"Gee, you didn't mention your wart in your personal."

'Someday, all this will be done with prescription drugs.'

"That's it...it's so obvious! Girls go crazy for mindless slugs who only want to party all night long!"

Speed Dating and Speed Dumping

Sue meets another Winner

Sterns Father. 'What an unearthly hour that young fellow stops till every night, Doris. What does your mother say about it?' Daughter. 'She says men haven't altered a bit pa.'

"He looked a lot bigger online."

"Oh, it's feeding time in Egoville?"

"Nah, I just don't fancy it anymore."

'This could be another chapter for my book on easy pickups.'

"Please may I see you again - I find your opinions so easy to trash."

"That's an unusual, orange jumpsuit!"

'I'm looking for a new wife - or one in mint condition.'

'I remember when sex on the first date was shocking. Now they don't even bother with a date!'

"Actually, I was looking for someone with a prehensile mind."

Rat: 'So...your Sewer or mine?'

'...Anyway, enough about me. Tell me a little bit about yourself.'

"I've no interest or hobbies, I'm a pretty dull old stick really, the only exciting thing that's happened to me was winning £4 million on the lottery..."

"Ruby, get your tail - feathers in here. . . some loser has sent us his plume pics!"

Another Soft-Porn Dating Show

Gangster personal ad

"Are you positive he's the one who talked about himself all night and never once asked about you?"