Dating Scene Escapists Pillows

"I'm just tired of chasing after men who are gingerbread."

"Yes, I'm from London. 'Which part?' you ask. Well all of me!"

"The meeting will last until lunch, or hell freezes over, whichever is longer."

I DATED A GUY FROM THE FAIR, BUT . . .

'Don't let the photo put you off, it was taken when he was under the spell of a wicked witch.'

"I've been out of the dating scene a long time. Is kissing still a thing?"

"I'm sorry about all this. It's my animal magnetism."

"I just love a nice knight out."

"The cheek of him! At the end of the first date, he wanted me to go to his home to roost!"

"And for my next trick, I will confuse general politeness for chemistry."

The perfect man

'He had bulging muscles and a wallet to match!'

"The worst thing about having aliens abduct you is that they say they’re going to call, but they never do."

'He's narrating it, I just know it.'

'Two Mr. Wrongs don't make a Mr. Right.'

"Don't panic, she'll be back. We lock the washroom windows from the outside."

Pete never wanted the fame that came with being a national symbol...he just thought it was a good way to meet girls.

"Don't wait too long for Mr. Right or you'll end up with Mr. What's left!"

"Teri tells me you're ostensibly straight.."

Russian Dating.

"Hi!- standards need lowering?"

Alligator Bars

Mate Mart

"I had guys chase my tail, then one day I thought, hey, dummy, get rid of the middlemen and chase your own tail!"

"I'm looking for a data plan that will be constantly out of service so I can tell my dates I didn't mean to ghost them."

"She said don't forget the straw."

'C'mon, Larry - you knew the risks when you promised to be my wingman.'

"Is that 'good reptilian' or 'bad reptilian'?"

'Complements of the big smelly gentleman.'

They all have one thing in common...they all have bad breath.

'When I said we should see other people, I didn't mean starting tonight.'

Borrow the Bag?

'My mother always told me if it ain't broke, date it.'

"That's the worst pickup line I've ever heard!"

As luck would have it the hunchback's blind date turned out to be a hunchbelly!