Dating Scene Escapists Pillows

"I'm just tired of chasing after men who are gingerbread."

"Yes, I'm from London. 'Which part?' you ask. Well all of me!"

"The meeting will last until lunch, or hell freezes over, whichever is longer."

I DATED A GUY FROM THE FAIR, BUT . . .

"I've been out of the dating scene a long time. Is kissing still a thing?"

'Don't let the photo put you off, it was taken when he was under the spell of a wicked witch.'

"I'm sorry about all this. It's my animal magnetism."

"The cheek of him! At the end of the first date, he wanted me to go to his home to roost!"

"I just love a nice knight out."

"And for my next trick, I will confuse general politeness for chemistry."

The perfect man

'Two Mr. Wrongs don't make a Mr. Right.'

'He's narrating it, I just know it.'

"The worst thing about having aliens abduct you is that they say they’re going to call, but they never do."

'He had bulging muscles and a wallet to match!'

"Don't panic, she'll be back. We lock the washroom windows from the outside."

"Teri tells me you're ostensibly straight.."

Pete never wanted the fame that came with being a national symbol...he just thought it was a good way to meet girls.

"Don't wait too long for Mr. Right or you'll end up with Mr. What's left!"

Russian Dating.

Mate Mart

"I'm looking for a data plan that will be constantly out of service so I can tell my dates I didn't mean to ghost them."

"She said don't forget the straw."

"Hi!- standards need lowering?"

"I had guys chase my tail, then one day I thought, hey, dummy, get rid of the middlemen and chase your own tail!"

Alligator Bars

'C'mon, Larry - you knew the risks when you promised to be my wingman.'

"Everybody's just a teensy bit in love with me. How about yourself?"

"Is that 'good reptilian' or 'bad reptilian'?"

As luck would have it the hunchback's blind date turned out to be a hunchbelly!

"That's the worst pickup line I've ever heard!"

'My mother always told me if it ain't broke, date it.'

'Complements of the big smelly gentleman.'

'When I said we should see other people, I didn't mean starting tonight.'

They all have one thing in common...they all have bad breath.