Dating Escapist Pillows

Tunnel of giving up and getting a cat.

"Some date! The usual chat-up line - 'I must take you back in my spaceship to help populate my planet Zog'. . ."

"I was going to chuck it all and go to Paris but I didn't have enough frequent-flier miles."

Bo're'droom

Woman dreaming about being on vacation.

"He's on screen saver. Just tap him."

"I can hardly wait...TWO WHOLE weeks without having to deal with mindless e-mails, incessant interruptions, boring meetings...."

"I think we're all agreed that we need to focus 110% on meeting strategic corporate goals."

'I'm just going to go and slip into something more comfortable, like denial.'

"Is there an option to make my out-of-office message permanent?"

Cyb-R Safe: Offering the most convincing illusion of on-line security available today!

"I think we'll pass up the Château Mouton-Rothschild '34."

"Could I please go back to the rack now?"

'I was so angry, I got up and tip-toed out of the meeting. I probably should've stomped.'

'We need to talk about your fear of commitment, Ralph.'

"Slowly begin to reawaken the body with thoughts of unread E-mails, piles of dirty laundry, and the kids you have to pick up from school."

"Yes dear, I know lots of people have a second honeymoon. But we only got back from our first one last week."

"Outta my way. I need to check my email!"

"I'm not lazy. I'm resting before I get tired."

'The marvelous thing about a Singles cruise is, if you don't find an interesting man, you can drown your sorrows with interesting food.'

'Yes, John's here, but he can't come to the phone at the moment. He's had a hard day so he's taking some time in his bouncy saucer.'

'She got all the soap opera channels at a discount -- it's some kind of 'frequent cryer' program.'

'Take down that stupid sign! It's giving me a headache!'

Spam.

'Where do you expect to see yourself in five lifetimes?'

'The trick is to make them feel better about themselves without actually paying them any better...'

Occational lovers - "Let's see...work,work,work,time to recuperate.." "How about Friday."

"I'm looking for a data plan that will be constantly out of service so I can tell my dates I didn't mean to ghost them."

"Master, you have 175,568 unread messages in your inbox."

Academics at the Beach: Professor Wilson receives his email messages by the use of willpower alone.

"And in order to align the designated objectives withthe fiscally driven cross functional departmental...did you understand any of that?" "Only the blah! blah! bit."

"Don't you dare try to sneak out of this cartoon!"

Spam.

'Remember Machu Picchu, darling? We sat watching that fabulous sunset and suddenly you turned to me and asked me for a pre-nuptial agreement?'

"The jury's still out on whether you should whisk me away to Paris."