Dating Pro Pillows

Let's not do anything we'll regret in the morning. I like to sleep past noon.

Small Talk

I couldn't resist his pickup line. He said he had a job.

The singles bar...

"Let's talk film or let's not talk film - I'm easy."

What nationality were your parents? North or south Poles?

"I'm just saying. This would be even MORE romantic if we couldn't see in the dark."

"Did you bring any protection with you?"

'Of all the women who responded to my dating profile, you had the best emoticon.'

'I should warn you about my father. He's a landscape gardener.'

You're so beautiful, I can't take my eyes off you, even though there's a fly in my soup doing the backstroke, which is comedy gold!

Boyfriend of the Month.

Man says: 'Great pizza, but the mozzarella was a bit stringy.'

"You and your daft inventions."

"Could I have a bottle of the Chateau Lafitte '67 but filled with the wine from Tesco 2019."

The Stages of Wine

'You never kiss me like that.'

"I'm sorry, Brad, but I'm saving eye-contact for that special someone."

'Not...one...drop.'

'Standing on tiptoe waving your claw may attract a crab, but it certainly doesn't woo me.'

"There's a kind of rhythm to making money that something inside me responds to."

"Not so fast, Casanova! I want to get to know a man and his intentions better before I allow him to accompany me to the cinema!"

"It's amazing. We've just met, but I feel like we've known each other since we were kids, became high school sweethearts, got married too young, had a bunch of brats, went through a messy divorce, reconciled, remarried each other, and are now back together after all these years."

"Before we take this any further, I'd like us to open about our internet history."

"I must say, Doctor Jeckyll, that you bear little resemblance to your profile picture."

'Santa ! Bring my Baby Back!' - 'You didn't tell me she was hot!'

'Wow!... Look at the personality on her!'

Tom prepares for his hot date.

Cupid gives up trying to get cell phone-using couple together.

"Plenty of fish"

"I'm a simple man, really."

"But he's no longer with us."

'Well thank you Igor!! I spend all night making small talk with the blonde and Mr. googly eyes has to show up!!'

'How do you like your egg?'

"I want to get rich while you're still beautiful."