Digital Dating Enthusiasts Pillows

"Here's what I found for 'Hey, Baby!'."

"Lewis decided to try computer dating."

'And she's got to have implants out to here.'

"Oh I have plenty of sex appeal. It's all here in my bank baalance."

"You looked a lot bigger on your dating profile."

"Your profile said you were a dog."

"I'm hooking up with this guy who makes the funniest typos."

You looked different during our video chat.

'The website made a mistake. Not 'erotic' - 'neurotic'.'

"Wanna get pigeon holed?"

"I'm sorry, Brad, but I'm saving eye-contact for that special someone."

Strategies that will always work

"Before we take this any further, I'd like us to open about our internet history."

"I must say, Doctor Jeckyll, that you bear little resemblance to your profile picture."

'I know I said you could take me home but I didn't mean to your place!'

Man and woman meet in bar, in strained poses. He says: 'Now we've met, can we drop the Myspace poses?'

Tinder

You're 22 hours early, Lance. I thought I was two hours late. Which do you prefer?

"I gotta be honest. I lied on my profile. I'm actually a CPA, not a CEO."

Hey, Sis! Your blind date's here! Says he's from ' Big & Tall Dot Com!'

"What's the saying? 'An Amazon gift card is a girl's best friend.'"

"Plenty of fish"

Online Dog Dating

Wendy's blind date had heard that women love a guy who can make them laugh.

'For those who the internet hath brought together, let no man put asunder...'

"You said your pictures were recent."

"So - we meet at last."

'No, I don't remember asking you to move in with me. Not only that, I don't remember who you are!'

"We hooked up on one of those 'buoy meets girl' sites."

"If we all waited for Mr Right to come along the human race would be extinct by now."

'To learn more about me, swipe my forehead with your smart phone.'

'Do you, Optimus_!@aol.com. take thee, Sexy69@aol.co...'

Computer telling man he loves him

I'm looking for a man who's not wrapped up in his career. I want his career to be me. I was just imagining working my way up.

"It's our third date, can we look at each other now?"