Digital Dating Enthusiast Pillows

'To learn more about me, swipe my forehead with your smart phone.'

"I'm sorry, Brad, but I'm saving eye-contact for that special someone."

"Sure, it's more efficient. But I still miss shooting the arrows."

"You don't know me well enough to not care how I look."

'I really can't stay for dessert. Why don't you stay and DVR the rest of the date for me?'

"We met through the personals. We both were seeking someone 'Rubenesque'."

Online Dating

Kissable Frogs in Your Area

'Of all the women who responded to my dating profile, you had the best emoticon.'

Sally and Doug had met online and were proving to be very compatible...

'I was attracted to you but your online photo, but now that I've seen you in High-Def...'

"You lack spontaniety."

"That guy I just met is already texting me pictures of his plumage."

"Do you have a boyfriend?"

"Ooo... she sounds nice... 'I enjoy burying myself in the sand and sideways walks on the beach.'"

'Okay, but not in person -- I prefer on-line dating.'

"Don't take this the wrong way, Howard, but I'd like to go back to having an on-line relationship."

"You looked a lot bigger on your dating profile."

Dating - "Oh, and she must have a sense of humour."

"Yes, he was very nice, Mom, but he had to cut the date short because it was... 'report card time'!"

'Take this stick-drive and open the file 'John's Emotional Baggage'. It'll save a lot of time.'

Biological Cuckoo clock

"Do you...enter name...take...enter name...to be your...choose one from the pull down menu...click the I do icon now please."

"I'm experiencing bouts of heavy breathing and dizziness when I'm speed dating!"

"Romeo,Romeo. Are you online,Romeo"

Financially Secure Romantic with sufficient fire in belly seeks damsel in distress...

Ostrich Bar

"Ideally, I'm looking for a guy who can make me smile."

My personal ad specifically said I was a "dog person who enjoys walks on the beach."

"What do you mean asking you to marry me via text wasn't romantic? Did you see the emoji with hearts for eyes I attached?"

'You remind me of my ex-ex-ex.'

We met online.

'Are you ready to get hurt again?'

Women's Idea of Sharing/Men's Idea of Sharing.

When kissing a woman, try not to burp.