Online Dating Pro Pillows

'Of all the women who responded to my dating profile, you had the best emoticon.'

"Back off, weirdo...I'm not the type of girl who dates a guy she hasn't met online!"

"I'll describe you as 6' and athletic. Everyone exaggerates online."

'It was love at first sight, although he was very pixilated and I was out of focus'

"...and someone with no fleas. Anything else?"

Right click for yes...

"I met him on an online dating site. He was on their 'return' section."

"O.K. I'm just feeding in your personal details for a suitable match..."

"I hope he has skeletons in his closet."

"We met through the personals. We both were seeking someone 'Rubenesque'."

'Everybody on the internet now knows I'm a dog, so I'm pretending to be a cat.'

Kissable Frogs in Your Area

'Jane, cancel all my appointments for the rest of the week.'

"You may now kiss the bride."

"Here's one, Matey! 'Must Love Parrots.'"

'I was attracted to you but your online photo, but now that I've seen you in High-Def...'

INTERNET MARRIAGE.

"Don't take this the wrong way, Howard, but I'd like to go back to having an on-line relationship."

"Ooo... she sounds nice... 'I enjoy burying myself in the sand and sideways walks on the beach.'"

"That whole internet dating thing....It killed me, I tell ya."

Today's love

"You looked a lot bigger on your dating profile."

'Okay, but not in person -- I prefer on-line dating.'

"Everybody meets online these days."

Dating - "Oh, and she must have a sense of humour."

"Then again, an honest profile picture would not have got me a wonderful 'Duck Confit with a Chocolat Creme Brulee.'"

'Your website or mine?'

cuPad

Horny Nanny Seeks Lonely Goat Herd.

"I don't remember him or the meal or what movie we saw. All I remember is I wore the right jeans."

"Our online romance needs fresh start. I think it's time to hit 'ctrl', 'alt', 'delete'."

'He's narrating it, I just know it.'

"We met the old fashioned way – online, in a chat room."

"Your online profile says you like to foxtrot."

"Can you tell me the story again about how you swiped right on Dad?"