Online Dating Guru Pillows

Using a social media app to date

"Forget the glass slipper thing. I've just installed the Tinderella app."

"...and someone with no fleas. Anything else?"

'It was love at first sight, although he was very pixilated and I was out of focus'

Right click for yes...

"I met him on an online dating site. He was on their 'return' section."

"O.K. I'm just feeding in your personal details for a suitable match..."

"We met through the personals. We both were seeking someone 'Rubenesque'."

Boyfriend of the Month.

"You may now kiss the bride."

"Here's one, Matey! 'Must Love Parrots.'"

'Of all the women who responded to my dating profile, you had the best emoticon.'

'Jane, cancel all my appointments for the rest of the week.'

'He's a catch for any woman - there's so much to re-mould'

'Everybody on the internet now knows I'm a dog, so I'm pretending to be a cat.'

Kissable Frogs in Your Area

'I was attracted to you but your online photo, but now that I've seen you in High-Def...'

INTERNET MARRIAGE.

"Then again, an honest profile picture would not have got me a wonderful 'Duck Confit with a Chocolat Creme Brulee.'"

Dating - "Oh, and she must have a sense of humour."

cuPad

Catch and release dating.

"You looked a lot bigger on your dating profile."

Today's love

"Ooo... she sounds nice... 'I enjoy burying myself in the sand and sideways walks on the beach.'"

"Don't take this the wrong way, Howard, but I'd like to go back to having an on-line relationship."

"Everybody meets online these days."

"That whole internet dating thing....It killed me, I tell ya."

'Okay, but not in person -- I prefer on-line dating.'

'Your website or mine?'

Horny Nanny Seeks Lonely Goat Herd.

"We met the old fashioned way – online, in a chat room."

"Your online profile says you like to foxtrot."

"Our online romance needs fresh start. I think it's time to hit 'ctrl', 'alt', 'delete'."