Online Dating Guru Gifts

Although gravity had taken its toll Connie, she had devised a way to look youthful...

She's disappointed. Doctor Frankenstein's online dating profile simply says that he's a "body-builder."

Using a social media app to date

"Forget the glass slipper thing. I've just installed the Tinderella app."

"...and someone with no fleas. Anything else?"

'It was love at first sight, although he was very pixilated and I was out of focus'

Right click for yes...

"I met him on an online dating site. He was on their 'return' section."

"O.K. I'm just feeding in your personal details for a suitable match..."

I really think I can handle this date on my own. Lemme ask you something. Would you trust me alone with a ybot 340? An Xbox 360? They changed the name? Okay. But you cannot hit on my date. I'm only here to help.

"We met through the personals. We both were seeking someone 'Rubenesque'."

Kissable Frogs in Your Area

'Jane, cancel all my appointments for the rest of the week.'

Boyfriend of the Month.

"Here's one, Matey! 'Must Love Parrots.'"

"You may now kiss the bride."

'Everybody on the internet now knows I'm a dog, so I'm pretending to be a cat.'

'He's a catch for any woman - there's so much to re-mould'

'Of all the women who responded to my dating profile, you had the best emoticon.'

'I was attracted to you but your online photo, but now that I've seen you in High-Def...'

INTERNET MARRIAGE.

"Everybody meets online these days."

"You looked a lot bigger on your dating profile."

Dating - "Oh, and she must have a sense of humour."

"Then again, an honest profile picture would not have got me a wonderful 'Duck Confit with a Chocolat Creme Brulee.'"

'Okay, but not in person -- I prefer on-line dating.'

Today's love

Catch and release dating.

"Don't take this the wrong way, Howard, but I'd like to go back to having an on-line relationship."

'Your website or mine?'

"That whole internet dating thing....It killed me, I tell ya."

"Ooo... she sounds nice... 'I enjoy burying myself in the sand and sideways walks on the beach.'"

cuPad

'I'm sorry, Jason. I don't date anyone new until I've googled them.'

"It must have been fate that brought us together."