Online Guru Gifts

"Someone will turn up to your party Darling, I've posted it on the internet."

"We were really looking for someone who could lead people. How many followers do you have on Twitter?"

"I'm sorry, Paige, but grades are based on the quality of the writing, not on your Klout score."

Your online profile only lists positive things about you. Of course, a "profile" only shows one side of a person.

How's the exciting, glamorous and sexy world of the blogosphere treating you, Lars? It's all those things, Axel, but unfortunately, it's not financially rewarding

The Wiki Man.

'I can get you online but I'll need a note for my teacher.'

'Do you take social currency?'

"I'm guessing with all that mold coming out of your computer, it's been awhile since you've added fresh content to your site."

"I'm retiring to spend more time with my social media accounts."

"Right now? I'm putting my reputation on line."

Things-to-do-today: Daily workboxes piled up on desk.

Colour Version: Living by the Clock

'Let me through, I'm at Doctor.com.'

Here and There Trays

"Could you go back to the front desk? The receptionist has some forms for you to fill out."

'Here's MY information highway!'

"For heaven's sake, Ogden, it's vacation time! Must you make your little lists even on vacation time?"

'If you want to live a long time, try not to do anything that will kill you.'

'It's only fair to warn you that if you get the job there would be a lot of filing involved.'

"I'm afraid there'll be an excess baggage charge on your Filofax."

Office worker pushing a pile of papers on trolley.

"Brandon isn't adapting well to the open office concept."

Why do you need so many computers?

Your computer has every alert, alarm and reminder possible...enough with the sticky notes!!!

Never tell the boss "You can count on me" during inventory.

'At least I never have to straighten it out.'

It's about self-control. "'No Thyself".

Florist. A vase for everything and everything in its vase.

"Much ado list"

'Bread, milk, cereal, sugar, sausage, potatoes, beans, biscuits. Click! So easy, but I do miss the sexy till lady.'

'We're a non-profit organisation. We didn't plan it that way, but that's how it worked out.'

The probability of an event occurring is inversely proportional to its desirability.

Man in Therapist office sees a sign: Therapy Is Expensive Bubble Wrap Is Cheap You Decide

"It looks like we're reorganizing again."