Online Dating Specialist Pillows

Denny is fired after his managers discovered he was dating someone he had met in person rather than on Match.com.

'It was love at first sight, although he was very pixilated and I was out of focus'

"...and someone with no fleas. Anything else?"

Right click for yes...

"I met him on an online dating site. He was on their 'return' section."

"We first met on the net. We began to court, but between my foul mouth and Wilson being on the rebound...let's just say it was a long shot, but he pressed, and I was defenseless. Now, we're as 'hoopy' as can be."

"O.K. I'm just feeding in your personal details for a suitable match..."

"I hope he has skeletons in his closet."

"We met through the personals. We both were seeking someone 'Rubenesque'."

Online Dating

Boyfriend of the Month.

'Of all the women who responded to my dating profile, you had the best emoticon.'

"Have you tried carbon dating?"

'Jane, cancel all my appointments for the rest of the week.'

"You may now kiss the bride."

'Everybody on the internet now knows I'm a dog, so I'm pretending to be a cat.'

"Here's one, Matey! 'Must Love Parrots.'"

That must be my computer date... (Answers door to robot).

'I was attracted to you but your online photo, but now that I've seen you in High-Def...'

INTERNET MARRIAGE.

"Ooo... she sounds nice... 'I enjoy burying myself in the sand and sideways walks on the beach.'"

"Don't take this the wrong way, Howard, but I'd like to go back to having an on-line relationship."

"Then again, an honest profile picture would not have got me a wonderful 'Duck Confit with a Chocolat Creme Brulee.'"

Today's love

"Everybody meets online these days."

Dating - "Oh, and she must have a sense of humour."

'Your website or mine?'

"You looked a lot bigger on your dating profile."

"That whole internet dating thing....It killed me, I tell ya."

'Okay, but not in person -- I prefer on-line dating.'

cuPad

'I'm sorry, Jason. I don't date anyone new until I've googled them.'

"It must have been fate that brought us together."

"This sounds promising. . . dark brown hair, loyal, cuddly and good in bed."

Horny Nanny Seeks Lonely Goat Herd.