Dating Experts Pillows

"I've had my eye on you for some time"

"Do you have any of those books that understand men?"

'Okay.. what the hell.'

"You seem dangerous. I like that."

"Have you tried carbon dating?"

'Your wife says you act like a fool. I thought you said she never pays attention to you.'

Boyfriend of the Month.

"I've never, ever taken you for granted, Ingrid."

"I feel I'm losing touch with the unrealistic view I have of him."

The Stages of Wine

'Okay, we grew old together - Now what?'

Sharing Drinks.

'Standing on tiptoe waving your claw may attract a crab, but it certainly doesn't woo me.'

Eric knew where all the real slappers hang out.

"And What Wine Would You Suggest To Go With An Argument?"

'Wow!... Look at the personality on her!'

"I know you're baby-sitting, Peggy. . . I just didn't think they'd be sitting right here!"

'Do try and look intelligent-here comes my first husband...'

'If you want to get anywhere with girls, you gotta PRETEND to like bunnies, ponies, and kittens.'

"Not so fast, Casanova! I want to get to know a man and his intentions better before I allow him to accompany me to the cinema!"

"The women on these dating sites don't seem to believe I'm a prince."

Tom prepares for his hot date.

'Well thank you Igor!! I spend all night making small talk with the blonde and Mr. googly eyes has to show up!!'

"I'm a simple man, really."

"This time, she went too far."

"I don't believe you can't get close to anyone, Mr Jones. Get back over your own side."

'This is my wife, Viola, who I've been happily married to for twenty five years.'

Advertising hoarding proposing marriage (which is rejected).

"You have irritable-spouse syndrome."

Babe magnet

'Yes, I've heard long-married couples tend to look alike, but I'm not sure about the dress alike part.'

"With so many dating services online, I had to diversify."

'No thanks! Playing doctor is how my folks ended up getting married.'

"At first I thought it must be a typo when your profile said you were 'all mussel'."

'You're sexy when your mind is somewhere else.'