Dating Profile Expert Pillows

'Your dating profile was right. You really do know how to show a girl a good time.'

"Call me?"

"You seem dangerous. I like that."

Boyfriend of the Month.

'We no longer look at résumés. We go straight to your Facebook page.'

The Stages of Wine

Let's not do anything we'll regret in the morning. I like to sleep past noon.

I couldn't resist his pickup line. He said he had a job.

Sharing Drinks.

'Standing on tiptoe waving your claw may attract a crab, but it certainly doesn't woo me.'

"I've had my eye on you for some time"

"Not so fast, Casanova! I want to get to know a man and his intentions better before I allow him to accompany me to the cinema!"

"I know you're baby-sitting, Peggy. . . I just didn't think they'd be sitting right here!"

'Wow!... Look at the personality on her!'

"And What Wine Would You Suggest To Go With An Argument?"

"The women on these dating sites don't seem to believe I'm a prince."

"But sir, you may think you want underwear, but your internet consumer profile says you want a jet ski."

Tom prepares for his hot date.

'Excuse me beautiful lady, I think you've dropped something... my heart!'

'Well thank you Igor!! I spend all night making small talk with the blonde and Mr. googly eyes has to show up!!'

Small Talk

"Hmm....who's this tall drink of water?"

"It's not enough -- others must follow me on social media."

'Are they your come to bed eyes or put the rubbish bin out eyes?'

"I'm a simple man, really."

'Easy Chair.'

The singles bar...

Babe magnet

"So when you said you were a bee keeper..."

"Your Facebook page said nothing about you being a dung beetle!"

"My name is Adam and your name is Eve and that I think is a good starting point for a relationship between us!"

'No thanks! Playing doctor is how my folks ended up getting married.'

Young Accountants in Love: 'I didn't reach the same conclusion, Phil. In fact, my preliminary figures indicate we just can't go on meeting like this!'

'I know this may not be the best time, but has anyone ever told you that you have beautiful eyes?'

"Rick, here, is totally passive, and you always have to be in control, so I thought you might like each other."