Online Dating Consultant Pillows

"The women on these dating sites don't seem to believe I'm a prince."

"...and someone with no fleas. Anything else?"

'It was love at first sight, although he was very pixilated and I was out of focus'

Right click for yes...

"I met him on an online dating site. He was on their 'return' section."

"Do you have any of those books that understand men?"

"O.K. I'm just feeding in your personal details for a suitable match..."

"I hope he has skeletons in his closet."

"You've reached Randy the love doctor. What ails you?"

"We met through the personals. We both were seeking someone 'Rubenesque'."

Online Dating

'And she's got to have implants out to here.'

'Everybody on the internet now knows I'm a dog, so I'm pretending to be a cat.'

'Of all the women who responded to my dating profile, you had the best emoticon.'

"You may now kiss the bride."

Kissable Frogs in Your Area

"Have you tried carbon dating?"

Boyfriend of the Month.

That must be my computer date... (Answers door to robot).

'Jane, cancel all my appointments for the rest of the week.'

"Here's one, Matey! 'Must Love Parrots.'"

'I was attracted to you but your online photo, but now that I've seen you in High-Def...'

INTERNET MARRIAGE.

"Everybody meets online these days."

"Then again, an honest profile picture would not have got me a wonderful 'Duck Confit with a Chocolat Creme Brulee.'"

Dating - "Oh, and she must have a sense of humour."

"Don't take this the wrong way, Howard, but I'd like to go back to having an on-line relationship."

'Your website or mine?'

'Okay, but not in person -- I prefer on-line dating.'

"That whole internet dating thing....It killed me, I tell ya."

"You looked a lot bigger on your dating profile."

"Ooo... she sounds nice... 'I enjoy burying myself in the sand and sideways walks on the beach.'"

Today's love

cuPad

"This sounds promising. . . dark brown hair, loyal, cuddly and good in bed."