Dating Agency Professional Pillows

'How do you like your egg?'

Carbon Dating Agency

"You may 'have a thing for Earth women' Mr. Zing. But I'm afraid we don't have any on our files that express a similar interest in Venusian men."

"I'd like to meet someone in their 70s or 80s, preferably with a terminal illness!"

"Do you have any of those books that understand men?"

'I wouldn't kick her out of bed.'

You can fool some of the people all of the time - "Send in some of the people, Dorothy."

Boyfriend of the Month.

CATCHY NAME

The Stages of Wine

'Sorry, this isn't that kind of agency. We determine the age of old fossils, not arrange dates for them.'

'Hey...here's a hot prospect...likes catching frisbees, chasing squirrels, rolling in smelly stuff...'

'Standing on tiptoe waving your claw may attract a crab, but it certainly doesn't woo me.'

I couldn't resist his pickup line. He said he had a job.

"I'm from the Duvall Executive Search Agency, and I leave no stone unturned."

'Top is right! He's a scaffolder working on a tower block'

"Not so fast, Casanova! I want to get to know a man and his intentions better before I allow him to accompany me to the cinema!"

'Wow!... Look at the personality on her!'

'If you want to get anywhere with girls, you gotta PRETEND to like bunnies, ponies, and kittens.'

Tom prepares for his hot date.

'I won't rule out using sex as a weapon, but I do have a 'no first use' policy.'

Small Talk

The singles bar...

'Well thank you Igor!! I spend all night making small talk with the blonde and Mr. googly eyes has to show up!!'

"I'm a simple man, really."

Babe magnet

'No thanks! Playing doctor is how my folks ended up getting married.'

'I'm very good at what I do...as long as what I do is being overpaid.'

"My name is Adam and your name is Eve and that I think is a good starting point for a relationship between us!"

Mister, Inc: 'Wrong...Right'

Courtship display

'I'll tell you a joke; I lied about the GSOH!'

Do you know what girls want?

'Your blind date reminded you of a TV star?, 'Yeah -- I think he was wearing Columbo's raincoat.'

"I'm still in recovery for my perfectionism."