Dating Agency Enthusiast Pillows

'I'd like to go to the one most deserving'

"You don't know me well enough to not care how I look."

'I really can't stay for dessert. Why don't you stay and DVR the rest of the date for me?'

'I wouldn't kick her out of bed.'

"We met through the personals. We both were seeking someone 'Rubenesque'."

"You lack spontaniety."

"Yes, he was very nice, Mom, but he had to cut the date short because it was... 'report card time'!"

"Do you have a boyfriend?"

Dating - "Oh, and she must have a sense of humour."

Biological Cuckoo clock

'He had bulging muscles and a wallet to match!'

"I'm experiencing bouts of heavy breathing and dizziness when I'm speed dating!"

"Your profile said you were a dog."

"Ideally, I'm looking for a guy who can make me smile."

Ostrich Bar

Romantic Coffee Dates

'Are you ready to get hurt again?'

Alligator Bars

My personal ad specifically said I was a "dog person who enjoys walks on the beach."

When kissing a woman, try not to burp.

'You remind me of my ex-ex-ex.'

Women's Idea of Sharing/Men's Idea of Sharing.

A Tree Grows In . . . Wherever.

"I've become so good at dating—relationships that used to take months now last a matter of days."

'Top is right! He's a scaffolder working on a tower block'

Are you honestly trying to play footsie with me? I never mix footsie with honesty.

"Yes, we met on a blind date, or in your father's case, a blind drunk date."

"What if I dress up like a Chihuahua?"

"Ask me anything you want about Water Cress!"

I've been going on a lot of first dates lately, but nobody wants to go out with me for a second date on Valentine's Day. The architect made other plans and the banker has no interest in seeing me again. The pilot doesn't see our relationship getting off the ground and the teacher thinks one date was enough --- she said she learned her lesson. What about the dietitian? I thought you two had a great time. We did --- but she's looking for somebody higher up the food chain.

"I was going to call you but I remembered I left some empty oxygen canisters on Mt. Everest."

'Don't look now but it's that guy from Pennsylvania that you dumped,'

"We pointed, but we never clicked."

"Boys meet the girls. Girls meet the boys. . ."

Speed Dating