Joining A Dating Agency Pillows

'Top is right! He's a scaffolder working on a tower block'

'I wouldn't kick her out of bed.'

'I'll tell you a joke; I lied about the GSOH!'

"You don't know me well enough to not care how I look."

'I really can't stay for dessert. Why don't you stay and DVR the rest of the date for me?'

"We met through the personals. We both were seeking someone 'Rubenesque'."

"You lack spontaniety."

"Yes, he was very nice, Mom, but he had to cut the date short because it was... 'report card time'!"

Dating - "Oh, and she must have a sense of humour."

"Do you have a boyfriend?"

"I'm experiencing bouts of heavy breathing and dizziness when I'm speed dating!"

Tasty.

Biological Cuckoo clock

Ostrich Bar

"Your profile said you were a dog."

"Ideally, I'm looking for a guy who can make me smile."

Women's Idea of Sharing/Men's Idea of Sharing.

Early Sexting

When kissing a woman, try not to burp.

'You remind me of my ex-ex-ex.'

My personal ad specifically said I was a "dog person who enjoys walks on the beach."

'Are you ready to get hurt again?'

A Tree Grows In . . . Wherever.

"I've become so good at dating—relationships that used to take months now last a matter of days."

Are you honestly trying to play footsie with me? I never mix footsie with honesty.

I've been going on a lot of first dates lately, but nobody wants to go out with me for a second date on Valentine's Day. The architect made other plans and the banker has no interest in seeing me again. The pilot doesn't see our relationship getting off the ground and the teacher thinks one date was enough --- she said she learned her lesson. What about the dietitian? I thought you two had a great time. We did --- but she's looking for somebody higher up the food chain.

"Ask me anything you want about Water Cress!"

"What if I dress up like a Chihuahua?"

"Yes, we met on a blind date, or in your father's case, a blind drunk date."

"I was going to call you but I remembered I left some empty oxygen canisters on Mt. Everest."

"We pointed, but we never clicked."

"Sorry, but I don't hiss on a first date."

Speed Dating

'Here we've both been, breaking our necks to meet the right person, and BAM!'

"I really think I can handle this date on my own."