Dating Service Professional Pillows

"Have you tried carbon dating?"

Boyfriend of the Month.

'Of all the women who responded to my dating profile, you had the best emoticon.'

The Stages of Wine

'Sorry, this isn't that kind of agency. We determine the age of old fossils, not arrange dates for them.'

'Hey...here's a hot prospect...likes catching frisbees, chasing squirrels, rolling in smelly stuff...'

'Standing on tiptoe waving your claw may attract a crab, but it certainly doesn't woo me.'

I couldn't resist his pickup line. He said he had a job.

"To be honest, I'm a little surprised the dating service matched us up."

"I've had my eye on you for some time"

"Not so fast, Casanova! I want to get to know a man and his intentions better before I allow him to accompany me to the cinema!"

'Wow!... Look at the personality on her!'

Tom prepares for his hot date.

'Well thank you Igor!! I spend all night making small talk with the blonde and Mr. googly eyes has to show up!!'

"I'm a simple man, really."

Small Talk

'How do you like your egg?'

The singles bar...

"I don't believe you can't get close to anyone, Mr Jones. Get back over your own side."

"With so many dating services online, I had to diversify."

Babe magnet

Psychic Dating Hotline

"At first I thought it must be a typo when your profile said you were 'all mussel'."

"Blue eyed blonde...let me check the files."

'No thanks! Playing doctor is how my folks ended up getting married.'

Mister, Inc: 'Wrong...Right'

"My name is Adam and your name is Eve and that I think is a good starting point for a relationship between us!"

Carbon Dating Agency

"You may 'have a thing for Earth women' Mr. Zing. But I'm afraid we don't have any on our files that express a similar interest in Venusian men."

'OK - I'll enter 'beauty queen', 'millionairess' and 'pub landlady' and we'll see waht comes up' (dating agency).

'Love and affection, loyalty, big brown eyes. Yes, we've got just the thing for you.'

Do you know what girls want?

"I'm still in recovery for my perfectionism."