Dating Service Professional Pillows

Dating Service. You said you want to meet "an ice man," didn't you?

"Have you tried carbon dating?"

Boyfriend of the Month.

'Of all the women who responded to my dating profile, you had the best emoticon.'

Let's not do anything we'll regret in the morning. I like to sleep past noon.

The Stages of Wine

'Sorry, this isn't that kind of agency. We determine the age of old fossils, not arrange dates for them.'

'Hey...here's a hot prospect...likes catching frisbees, chasing squirrels, rolling in smelly stuff...'

'Standing on tiptoe waving your claw may attract a crab, but it certainly doesn't woo me.'

I couldn't resist his pickup line. He said he had a job.

"To be honest, I'm a little surprised the dating service matched us up."

"I've had my eye on you for some time"

"Not so fast, Casanova! I want to get to know a man and his intentions better before I allow him to accompany me to the cinema!"

'Wow!... Look at the personality on her!'

Tom prepares for his hot date.

'How do you like your egg?'

"I'm a simple man, really."

The singles bar...

'Well thank you Igor!! I spend all night making small talk with the blonde and Mr. googly eyes has to show up!!'

Small Talk

"I don't believe you can't get close to anyone, Mr Jones. Get back over your own side."

"With so many dating services online, I had to diversify."

Babe magnet

"You may 'have a thing for Earth women' Mr. Zing. But I'm afraid we don't have any on our files that express a similar interest in Venusian men."

Mister, Inc: 'Wrong...Right'

Carbon Dating Agency

"My name is Adam and your name is Eve and that I think is a good starting point for a relationship between us!"

"Blue eyed blonde...let me check the files."

'No thanks! Playing doctor is how my folks ended up getting married.'

Gimme a hot chocolate. On the rocks. Straight. Lady troubles? And how. Old Mr. Mort told me if I wanted to appeal to the ladies, I should watch some old black and white movies and do what those guys do. So I started jogging downstairs sideways like Cary Grant. I said "see!" after every sentence like James Cagney. I ran in place and yelled "whoop-whoop-whoop!" like Curly. All the girls loved it. But now I have four playdates scheduled at the same time! Not at all where I thought that was going.

Psychic Dating Hotline

"At first I thought it must be a typo when your profile said you were 'all mussel'."

'OK - I'll enter 'beauty queen', 'millionairess' and 'pub landlady' and we'll see waht comes up' (dating agency).

'Love and affection, loyalty, big brown eyes. Yes, we've got just the thing for you.'

Do you know what girls want?