Dating Service Employee Pillows

'Sorry, this isn't that kind of agency. We determine the age of old fossils, not arrange dates for them.'

'Hey...here's a hot prospect...likes catching frisbees, chasing squirrels, rolling in smelly stuff...'

"Is this Randy the Love Doctor?"

"I may be obsessive and I may be compulsive, but no way am I obsessive compulsive."

'I'm thinking the bee beard is the main reson that you're still single'

"Have you tried carbon dating?"

'I was attracted to you but your online photo, but now that I've seen you in High-Def...'

"When the dating agency said you were full of beans..."

"I'm not against going to couples therapy, but it feels weird to do it on a first date."

'I need someone who is willing to make a commitment not someone who's just interested in ruffling my feathers.'

Barman indicates sick bucket, alongside usual ice bucket, saying to attractive woman: 'That's there in case you hear any particularly bad chat-up lines.'

"Women like funny men, but you can't go on a date dressed like that!"

'Sir, you wanted an affectionate date capable of long term friendship...you said nothing about being allergic to fleas.'

"You're not at all like your answering machine."

"You've reached Randy, the dating doctor. What ails you?"

"You sure are ringin' my bell, Baby!"

"If someone winks a you forty or fifty times, are they coming on to you?"

"To be honest, I'm a little surprised the dating service matched us up."

"I want someone whose inner pain is totally hot."

'Dream-dates don't normally go for nightmares.'

"That's the dating guru."

Body language interpreters - "He likes you and wishes to dance with you." "That's a get lost."

'You want to understand women?...I granted you a wish, not a miracle!'

"I can tell when you're just kissing me to get some of my lip balm, Josh."

Cheapskate b*****d told me he'd laid on a box for me to watch the races.

"I'm guessing it's too soon in the relationship for me to totally creep you out."

"He's either 'still water runs deep' or an oxygen-depleted dead zone."

'You asked her to go out with you?', 'Yes, but she says there's a lengthy approval process.'

"I don't believe you can't get close to anyone, Mr Jones. Get back over your own side."

"At least have the decency to send her a text to tell her you're not interested."

Avoid boys who spend more on hair products than you do!

'Girls! I won't understand them if I live to be six.'