Dating Joker Pillows

I'm sorry, miss. "No substitutions" also applies to your choice of a dining companion. Menu.

Missing Persons...'I'm not sure when she disappeared - sometime during the football season.'

Child laughs while making farting sound under arm. Dad says, 'Isn't it nice when they find something they're good at?

"Mating dance? Good luck with that. I couldn't even get my husband to do the chicken dance at our wedding."

How are you at decision making?

Get crazy once in a while

"I'll faithfully follow any diet plan as long as you also prescribe medical marijuana."

"Ok... for today I want a 500-word essay on what you know about nothing."

"Would you rather get hit by a racket or chewed by a dog?"

"April Fools'! You should’ve seen the look on your face!"

"You look so beautiful, glistening in the moonlight."

'Hey, Baby! How would you like to kiss the frog formerly known as 'Prince'?'

'I'm going to try that 'vegan' thing, Joe -- give me some beer nuts.'

"He says that when he had a vegetable salad as an appetizer, he can now have burgers, pizza and Coke as a reward."

'Want to freak her out? Stare over her shoulder without blinking for 10 minutes.'

"I love it when your eyes blaze like that; you remind me of Moses."

'...And do you John take Jennifer to be your lawfully wedded wife? To have and to hold, to write off on your taxes?'

'Half o' mild and a bag of pork scratchings - you're grooming me, aren't you?'

'When she walks in she lights up the room...' 'It's living next to the nuclear plant.'

Never pick a fight with a comedian.

"Whenever it comes, Glenda, my death will be untimely."

It's not what's outside that interests me. It's what's inside!

'I love it when you say - 'I'm going to print money'.'

"It makes you look old."

"I'll give you a big wet kiss.. "

'I ask myself-do I really want to sleep on the edge of the bed again?'

'I've heard all about you. Jayne says you're quite the prankster.'

See, Bill? They DID remember us this Valentine's Day!

Face Mask Romance

"I'm SO lazy, I married a pregnant woman. . . !"

Sunshine and exercise. Are you glad I suggested we go for a walk?

Man playing with echos: 'Hellooooo...How are you....I love you...' 'I'm not ready for that kind of committment!'

'Let it go, will you? -- That whoopie cushion incident was years ago!'

"We could have a shoot-out, then brunch."

Wordplay: Mandate - Escort Agency.