Valentine's Day Joker Pillows

They call me the Groundhog of Love. Romantically speaking, I can bring you an early spring. But if you see my shadow, you can expect six weeks of stalking.

'Wow! Is it Valentine's Day already?'

Cupid arrested.

Night of the Latkes

Child laughs while making farting sound under arm. Dad says, 'Isn't it nice when they find something they're good at?

"I'm sorry, but my costs were way out of control."

Get crazy once in a while

'Hang on a second, I think I have a sand castle in my shoe.'

"April Fools'! You should’ve seen the look on your face!"

"Would you rather get hit by a racket or chewed by a dog?"

"Ok... for today I want a 500-word essay on what you know about nothing."

'Hey, Baby! How would you like to kiss the frog formerly known as 'Prince'?'

A Snowman falls down drunk outside a bar.

"I love it when your eyes blaze like that; you remind me of Moses."

'Want to freak her out? Stare over her shoulder without blinking for 10 minutes.'

'...And do you John take Jennifer to be your lawfully wedded wife? To have and to hold, to write off on your taxes?'

"A little under done?"

Never pick a fight with a comedian.

'When she walks in she lights up the room...' 'It's living next to the nuclear plant.'

'Half o' mild and a bag of pork scratchings - you're grooming me, aren't you?'

It's not what's outside that interests me. It's what's inside!

"Maybe we should just let heaven and nature sing."

'When Einstein wrote about time and relativity he must have been watching a football game where the last 30 seconds took two hours.'

'I've heard all about you. Jayne says you're quite the prankster.'

"I'll give you a big wet kiss.. "

Snowman Driver

'... and finally, before tip-off, let's all be courteous and turn off our cell phones.'

Christmas tree exchange

Sunshine and exercise. Are you glad I suggested we go for a walk?

"Everytime you touch me, I get frostbite!"

'Those aren't sprinkles! they're FLEAS!!!! 'I made it from scratch.'

Ice-Cube-IV

Man playing with echos: 'Hellooooo...How are you....I love you...' 'I'm not ready for that kind of committment!'

"She won't be long, I'm just putting her face on."

"Come on guys, my jokes aren't that bad!"