Wedding Day Joker Pillows

'Never mind singing it in rap... a simple 'I do' will suffice.'

'Wait a minute - How do we break a tie?'

"Mating dance? Good luck with that. I couldn't even get my husband to do the chicken dance at our wedding."

'Hang on a second, I think I have a sand castle in my shoe.'

"I'll be a bit late... sorry."

"A little under done?"

It's not what's outside that interests me. It's what's inside!

'In conclusion, I hope you all go out there, get well-paying jobs, and give lots of tax-deductible gifts to our alumni fund.'

'... and finally, before tip-off, let's all be courteous and turn off our cell phones.'

"You idiots … we lost!"

'Since when does Shamrocks give you an itchy rash?'

'He's disappointed with the Queen's card - he wanted a rude one!'

"Uh ho. It looks like the Ref's giving him the yellow vuvuzela."

"It's our fault. We put out milk & cookies and now we can't get rid of him."

'Do you think they'll feed us something special for Christmas dinner?'

'I now pronounce you man and wife, with no chance of parole.'

"I now pronounce you guilty."

'No, the answer is: d ) All of the above.'

Baggage Reclaim

"There are thirty four children in my class...thirty one naughty, three nice."

Great coaching is about knowing how to give and when to play feedback...

'Cards don't send greetings, people send greetings.'

Lost a sandal?

A man staying afloat on an anchor at sea.

'I don't have any trouble keeping my weight down — I married an appetite suppressant.'