Dating Drama King Pillows

'I'd invite you in, but I've given up jackasses for Lent.'

"You owe me five bucks."

"Have you read any of Shakespeare's plays?"

"I can't believe he brought her."

'Life is all attitude: 45 seconds of enjoying it...45,000 hours of regretting it...'

"I take it you got the lead in the school play."

"When the dating agency said you were full of beans..."

The Birth of a Lawsuit

"Dad, why do they tell actors to "break a leg?""

'Tommy's book reports are like no other.'

Next, I recall looking down at myself and thinking, God, what a drama queen.

'Silly me. I thought his 'Catch and Release' bumper sticker referred to his philosophy on trout fishing.'

'Sir, you wanted an affectionate date capable of long term friendship...you said nothing about being allergic to fleas.'

She agreed to marry me, but she has to marry three other guys first.

"I'm sorry Sharon, I couldn't possibly come in for unprotected coffee."

'This isn't the kind of animal magnetism I like in a man, Frank.'

Newborn sees his new father viewing him in hospital nursery thinks "Showtime.".

Love Bites: The Dating Game - "No, he loves me more!"

"It's alright for you, female worms are everywhere, but when was the last time you saw a Mummy-Long-Legs?"

'What's the diagnosis?' - '*Cough*' - 'It's not good, I'm afraid.' - 'Tell me. I have to know.' - 'You have man flu, Peel.' - 'Why, God? Why?!!' - 'I'm so sorry.' -

'I know I said you could take me home but I didn't mean to your place!'

"The season finale of the world is near."

"He's a terrible drunk."

"I this series he plays a real dramatic roll."

"Do you think we could stop using 'Julius Caesar' in the role plays?"

'What a surprise,darling - a squatter!'

"Will you please cut the 'Alas, poor Yorick' bit and open that chest?"

Outside the Soap Opera Screen Actors Guild.

"Don't walk away from me while I'm not paying any attention to you."

"Don't be so dramatic, you've only got a cold!"

"Well, it's the end of the school year...when everyone finally gets serious about getting a good grade."